


Life Starts Now

by HarrysGrin



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, hurt!harry, hurt!louis, i didnt even know who they were xD, im using some famous faces for the original characters eyyyyy, jealous!louis, larry stylinson - Freeform, no this was not inspired cus of 5sos, theres a new band and theyre touring with 1D
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-11
Updated: 2013-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-19 03:22:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/878835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarrysGrin/pseuds/HarrysGrin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The year is 2014. One Direction is still one of the biggest names in the music industry. A new band has risen to fame. New Divide. An American alternative band that has taken the world by storm. Meanwhile Harry Styles is looking forward to a new year. He is now ready to come out of the closet. But when Louis rejects coming out with him, Harry decides to carry on. A new tour is approaching. One Direction and New Divide are hitting the road together on their highly anticipated North American Summer Tour. Along the way Harry meets Danny Sullivan, the charming and very bisexual lead vocalist of ND. As Harry and Danny get closer to one another, a jealous Louis must decide whether to fight for Harry or let him go. But he must choose quickly before the curly haired boy falls in love with the new lad in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Overview

**Author's Note:**

> so i started this a few months back but went into a really long hiatus. ive decided to bring it back and well ill be sharing it here too. hope y'all like it :)

alright so this will just be a brief overview of New Divide

  
So they're pretty much an alternative rock band that i came up with and are at the top of their fame in this fic. I'll be using songs from Mayday Apparatus, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and perhaps a few other songs as their songs ( i clearly dont own any of the songs). Youll see how i do it.

 

 

 

  
Band Description ( and who i picture as them):

Danny Sullivan (?) - lead vocalist

 

q

 

 

 

 

Matthew "Matt" Parker (Alex Pettyfer) - drummer

 

 

 

 

Robert Ellis (Logan Lerman) - rythm guitarist

 

 

 

 

Evan Morrison (Andy Biersack) - lead guitarist

 

 

Andrew Paige (Max Thieriot) - bassist

 

 

 

 

so yeah thats pretty much New Divide but of course they dont have to be these guys in your imagination x) PROLOGUE SHOULD BE UP SOON! 

 


	2. Prologue

 

 

Fear. Anticipation. Anxiety.

 

Those were just a few things that ran like wildfire through Harry's mind and body as he paced around his flat. It was time. He was about to realize what he had wanted for so long. He was now ready to confirm his sexuality to the world. No more hiding. No more pretending to be someone else. The facade had come to an end. The curly haired boy was truly grateful that management had accepted his coming out. Well, barely accepted to be exact. He would now set himself free. Once and for all.

 

The fight for his freedom though, had been a rather tough one. Modest had done all they could to supress the fact that Harry was indeed a homosexual. They had set him up on numerous dates with women, portrayed him as a womanizer and ultimately forbade his relationship with his band mate Louis Tomlinson, damaging the pair along the way. But enough had been enough. Harry had reached his breaking point. The tounge that had been tied for 3 years was now loose.

His slender fingers trembled as he held his cell phone and began to type the tweet that the whole world would see. There would be no going back after this.

 

 

 

_-Dear fans,_

_Yesterday I said I had an announcement to make. So here it goes. Its time to tell you all something that I've been keeping inside of me for quite a long time now. Please be understanding. It's very personal. This isn't a joke so listen. Please. The fact is that I am gay. Yes you read correctly. I am a homosexual. Always have been. Always will be. I can't hide it anymore. I know many of you will hate me now and I hold nothing against you if you do. To those of you who will continue to support me after this, thank you. I really do mean it. You have no idea how much it means to me. I love each and every single one of you. No words can express how grateful I am for all that you've given me along the way. Love you guys from the bottom of my heart._

_-Harry Styles.xx_

 

 

 

Harry's heart was now beating at a full speed. He began to hesitate as his finger hovered over the button that would start a new chapter in his life. One click was all it took.

"I really wish you were here to do this with me Lou." he whispered as a tear slid down his cheek."But I guess not."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he let his finger press the button. This was it. The new chapter would now begin. And with it, a new year. A new start.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"You say you feel so down,_

_Everytime I turn around,_

_You say you should've been gone by now._

_And you think that everything's wrong,_

_You ask me how to carry on,_

_We'll make it through another day, just hold on._

_'Cause life starts now_

_You've done all the things_

_that could kill you somehow and you're so far down_

_But you will survive it somehow because life starts now_

_I hate to see you fall down_

_I'll pick you up off the ground_

_I've watched the weight of your world come down_

_And now it's yours_

_The chance to move on_

_Change the way you've lived for so long_

_And find the strength you had inside all along_

_'Cause life starts now_

_You've done all the things_

_that could kill you somehow and you're so far down_

_But you will survive it somehow because life starts now_

_All this pain, take this life and make it yours_

_All this hate, take your heart and let it love again_

_You will survive it somehow_

_Life starts now_

_You've done all the things_

_that could kill you somehow and you're so far down_

_Life starts now_

_You've done all the thing_

_s that could kill you somehow and you're so far down_

_Life starts now"_

_-Three Days Grace_

_"Life Starts Now"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that was just a little teaser. comments/kudos are most welcomed :)


	3. Chapter One (Part 1)

**-2 DAYS AGO-**

 

An empty bed.

That was what Harry had awoken to that morning. His hands searched the other side of the bed for the warmth of Louis' body. No luck. Instead they found a small note.

 

 

_*Went out for coffee with El. Be back later_

_\- Louis*_

 

 

Harry felt the jealousy begin to boil within him. Louis had been hanging out with Eleanor quite a lot recently. More than usual. When he would ask him about it, Louis would just dismiss the question and would kiss him instead. Harry would then try to forget about it even though it still seemed to linger in the back of his mind. Waking up to an empty was now almost like a part of Harry's daily routine.

Ever since Harry had moved out of the flat that he shared with Louis, the gap in their relationship had seemed to widen. Of course, it hadn't been by his own will. Management had pretty much forced him to move out the month before in order to dissolve the rumors of his relationship with the older lad. The house that he lived in now was dead. No Louis to bring life to it. Just him. That's why he would find himself sneaking out in the middle of the night to come sleep with Louis. It was a great risk he took. Being caught by a wandering paparazzi was the last thing he needed.

As he rose from the bed, Harry noticed his phone begin to vibrate. An incoming call. He quickly grabbed it hoping to see Louis' name but his hope wavered after seeing it was Modest. He was confused. What would they want now?

"Good morning.", he greeted with a rather grumpy voice.

"And a very good morning to you too Mr. Styles.", replied the voice of Mr. O'Reilly, the main head of Modest! Management. "I suppose you know why I am calling correct?"

"Um no sir I don't. May I ask why?"

"Well I am calling to inform you that we will be having a meeting today to discuss your next acquaintance."

Harry's heart began to beat rapidly. He was now fully awake. The new year had just began and Management already wanted to arrange another girl for Harry to date. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

"But sir I don't think-"

"No buts Styles. The meeting has already been scheduled. I've notified Paul and he'll be picking you up at your place this afternoon. See you then. Goodbye." and with that the line went dead.

"I can't believe this!" yelled Harry. "Why can't they just leave me the fuck alone!"

Tears began to fall. He didn't want to be with anyone else. He didn't want to initiate yet another lie. All he wanted was to come clean. Say everything that he had been holding inside. But he couldn't. Modest had him biting his tounge.

He picked up his phone and began to diall Louis' number. A few seconds had passed and no answer. He called again and still no reply. The voicemail came on and Harry decided to leave a message.

"Lou. I need to talk to you *sniff* It's important. Please pick *sniff* up the phone." he said as he ended the message.

His mother came crossing through his mind a few minutes later. He needed someone to speak to. His mom would understand.

"Hello?", came the familiar voice from the other side of the line.

"Mom its me."

"Oh hi honey. How are you ?"

"Not so good * _sniff_ *"

"Honey what's wrong? Talk to me Harry. Is everything okay?" asked Anne with great concern in her voice.

"No mom. It's Modest. They want me to date again! I c-can't do i-it anymore m-mom. I just can't!"

Anne knew exactly what her son was talking about. She knew her son was gay after Harry had confessed his love for the other boy after the whole X Factor fiasco. It killed her to know that Harry was being forced to keep up a straight appearance while having to hide his true self and his relationship. After Modest had threatened to kick Harry out of One Direction if he ever said anything, she couldn't speak up for him from the fear that her son would be taken away from Louis. But now it had been enough. Modest had hurt her son way too much.

"Now you listen to me baby. I'm not going to stand back and watch you go through hell again. Do you hear me?", she began seriously." Honey this has been enough."

Harry noticed sobbing sounds coming from his mother. It was also hurting her.

"I know m-mom. I'm not d-doing this anymore. I c-can't d-o it. I don't care w-what they do to -me I just want to b-be me." he cried.

"Then you do what you have to do honey. I'm right behind you baby. All the way. Just do it. If you don't then I will because I'm not about to see you like that again."

"Th-thank you mom. I love you so m-much."

"I love you even more. I wish you the best honey."

"Thanks mom. I'll c-call you after to tell y-you what happened."

"Okay baby. Good luck. Goodbye."

"Bye mom."

All he needed now was to tell Louis. He couldn't do this without him. If he was going to stand up to Modest he wanted Louis to be there for it. Just like they had promised before.

 

 

 

 

**-12:00 P.M-**

 

Harry was getting ready to leave to his place before Paul arrived when he heard the front door open. Louis had finally came back.

"Harry? Where are you?" asked Louis.

"In the room!" responded Harry.

Light footsteps came from downstairs as Louis started towards the room. He found Harry sitting at the edge of the bed with his head downcast.

"I heard your voicemail Haz. What happened? Are you okay?" he asked as he picked up Harry's face."Harry were you...crying?"

"Modest called Lou."

"What the hell do they want now?"

Anger was evident in Louis' voice. It couldn't be good news.

"They're at it again. They want me to...date someone new again."

The Doncaster lads hands balled into hardened fists after hearing the words coming out of the younger boys mouth.

"What?! Not again! Why the fuck are they doing this again?!"

"I don't know Lou. I'm going to a meeting today. They want to arrange the damn cover up." replied Harry as he began to cry once again.

"Harry. Please don't cry. Look at me. Look at me Haz. If we got through it before we can do it again. You'll see. Don't cry."

"No Lou! I'm not going through with this! I'm not going to pretend anymore! I'm done!", be cried out.

"What are you planning to do about it then Harry. It's not like you can just tell them off. At least not now. You know that."said Louis as he tried to reason with Harry. The curly haired boy wouldn't dare do it. So he thought.

"Well that's exactly what I'm doing Louis. I don't care about what they say anymore. I've had enough."

"What do you mean Harry?"

"I mean I'm going to do it Lou. I'm coming out. That's why I need you."

"Wait. What?! Are you listening to what you're saying? We can't just do that Harry and you know it. Not now."

"Why not Louis?! If not now then when?! Please Lou. I'm ready for this. I don't care about what anyone says. I just want to this." said Harry as he began to plead,"Please Lou. I don't want to do it without you."

The older boy was taken aback. He wasn't ready to face reality. He wouldn't carry through with Harry's plan. No doubt about that.

"Harry please don't do this. It isn't going to work. You're only gonna get yourself kicked out of the band. Please don't do it. Please."

"No Lou. I am going to do it. They're not going to be ruining my life anymore. Our relationship Lou. They can kick us out but we'll still have each other right?"

No response.

"Right? Lou?"

"Harry I'm not doing this. I can't-I can't just throw everything away over this. Don't you see Harry? Now isn't the time for this."

"Louis! Please! You said you'd do this with me. Please. You promised!"

"Harry! Understand that this just can't happen! There's too much at risk! Think about it before you do anything you'll regret later!"

"What?! Why would I fucking regret being who I really am?!" yelled Harry after hearing Louis mention the word."I've had enough!"

Guilt rushed through the feather haired lad. He didn't intend to hurt Harry. He feared what the media would do to his own image and reputation if his relationship with Harry ever went public. He knew it was selfish but he couldn't help but be afraid.

"Harry I'm sorry I didn-"

"No Louis don't. I know exactly what you meant." interrupted Harry with a bit of anger in his tone."Are you ashamed Louis? Are you ashamed of me? Of our relationship? Is that what bothers you?"

"Now your just saying stupid things Harry. Of course not its just that... its not the best time for it."

"It will never be the right time until you accept it Lou. I can't just go on with this lie. What's stopping you? Tell me."

"Well for one the whole band can suffer and break up because of this. Then the media would bash us to a bloody pulp. And then there's... Eleanor."

Harry's face hardened at the mention of the girl.

"What the hell does she have to do with stopping you Louis."

"I can't just- push her to the side. The poor girl has really got it bad. 

She really has feelings for me. I don't think I can hurt her like that."

Harry was now torn between utter confusion and anger. How could Louis even consider living a lie over her then coming out with him?

"Oh so you can't hurt her but you can hurt me? Really? Really?!"

"Harry please underst-"

"It's the gay thing isn't it?"

"What?"

"It's the label that you're scared of. You don't want them to call you a faggot. A queer. A homo. It's that isn't it?"

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Louis forget about the label." said Harry as he took Louis' hands and looked him in the eye. "This is about being who you are. Who we are Lou."

Louis began to hesitate. He didn't want Harry to continue digging into his insecurity.

"Harry stop!" he said seriously as he let go of the younger boy's hands."I've already told you. This isn't going to happen. What part of 'this isn't the time' do you not understand?"

"Louis please." begged Harry,"I just want to be with you without having to hide. I'm tired of sneaking out every night to come sleep next to you."

The sight of Harry breaking down tugged at Louis' heart strings. He really wished he was brave enough to confront Management and confirm his sexuality along with Harry. But the constant fear that harbored within wouldn't allow him to.

"Harry. I'M NOT. DOING THIS. I fucking can't! Get it through your head that we can't! We have too much to lose right now! A tour is coming up and we will not let it down by coming out!"

Harry was now angry. Angry at Management for installing the fear inside Louis. Angry at the world for planting the seed of hatred towards people like him in the first place. But he was also angry at the older boy for not wanting to stand up for himself. To be free.

"So you just want to live a fucking lie Louis?! Huh? You just want to continue letting Modest run your life? What are you going to do when they tell you to propose to Eleanor?"

Louis stayed silent. He found himself not being able to answer the question.

"The fact that you stayed quiet tells me everything. I can't believe that you'd let that happen. I'm sorry Louis but I'm doing this anyway. With or without you."

"Harry you're not goin-?"

"Yes I am! If you want to keep living a lie then do it! I'm tired of standing in the shadows while you go out with her!" cried out Harry."I really wish you could see how much this means to me!"

Louis then shed a tear. No words could explain how much he wanted to make Harry happy. Make himself happy. But he couldn't.

"So what's it gonna be Louis? Me or her? Choose because I've already made up my mind. I'm done."

No answer. Complete and utter silence.

"Fine.Fine! Hide behind your beard! Keep living a lie! It's still won't hide the truth! It won't change the fact that you are gay-"

_SLAP!_

Harry hadn't seen it coming. Louis had struck him in the face with the back of his right hand in the blink of an eye. Realization of what he had just done immediately came tumbling down onto Louis.

"OH MY GOD HARRY! I'M SORRY! FUCK! I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I'M SO SORRY! HARRY I'M SOR-"

"No Louis! I'm done! That's it! I can't do this anymore! I can't!" and with that Harry began to run downstairs.

"Harry wait!" screamed Louis as he ran after Harry.

The green eyed lad was just about to open the front door when a pair of arms gripped his waist and spun him around. Harry barely had enough time to react when he felt Louis' lips collide with his own. It was a desperate kiss. Not a sweet loving one but rather an angry one. All of Louis' emotions were put into it. All the anger he had towards himself for being afraid to face reality along with the all love he felt for Harry were being poured through the kiss.

Harry then began to respond to Louis. His lips began to move along with the older boy's lips as he felt tears stream down his face. His hands reached up to cup Louis' face. As he caressed his lover's cheeks, he noticed that tears were also coming down from him. Harry felt his back hit the nearby wall and soon the kiss began to heat up. Tongues mingled with one another as Louis aggressively gripped Harry's waist while Harry's hand held on to his neck. This could have very well been the last time they would kiss.

A few minutes had passed when they both had to detach their lips from one another to catch their breaths. They stood in the same position and stared into each others watery eyes for a quite some moments.

"Harry I'm so sorry. I'm sorry Haz." whispered Louis' broken voice."I'm sorry that I can't be brave enough. I just can't. I need you to understand that."

"Look at me Lou." said Harry as he lifted the others face which had buried itself in his neck."I'm not going to force you to do this. If you don't want to that's your choice. If you want to keep letting Management control you then go ahead but I'm not. I'm done with them. I've had enough. If it gets me kicked out then fine. Let them do it. I'm not going to have them ruin me anymore."

"So is this it then? Is this where it ends for us Harry?"

Harry had feared this day. He hoped for it to never come true but his efforts to prevent it had been in vain.

"You know I never wanted this to happen Louis. I prayed this day would never come. But I can't stand by and watch you with her. It kills me. You can't keep both of us and expect no one to hurt in return. I'm sorry but I can't deal with this anymore."

"No Harry. I'm sorry... I'm sorry."

They stared into each others eyes until they reluctantly broke apart. Harry 

then began opening the door when he turned around to look at Louis.

"Just know that I will never regret what we had Louis. Never. Goodbye Lou."

"Bye Harry."

And with that, Harry left as the door closed behind him. All Louis could do was sink to his knees and cry as the loneliness began to sink in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"Where did I go wrong_

_I lost a friend..."_

_-The Fray_

_"How To Save A Life"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just part 1 of the backstory to help understand what happened. Part 2 should be up soon. So was it good? Was it bad? Please do tell. As always, kudos/comments are most welcomed :)


	4. Chapter One (Part 2)

***CONTINUED***

 

 

Harry darted towards his car as soon as the he had closed the door, leaving Louis behind him. Bittersweet memories began to flood his mind as tears flowed like wild streams down his face. He truly believed that Louis would've supported his decision to come out together. Had his fight to keep his relationship alive been worth it? Had it all been in vain?

As he entered his car, his head landed onto the steering wheel. Everything that he was feeling came rushing out. The pain that he felt on his chest was too much to bare. He wanted to erase the events that had brought him to his current state and restart the day all over again. He didn't want to believe that his relationship with Louis was over. Life without the older lad would mean nothing. No more special nights. No reason to continue going forward. But most of all, no more love.

As Harry started the car's engine, he was startled by the loud ringing coming from his phone.

An incoming call.

Harry hesitated in answering the call. The thought of it being Louis calling to apologize saying he had made a mistake invaded his mind. He didn't want to put his hopes up. Not again.

His right hand shook as he proceeded to receive the call. As he looked at the Caller I.D he was relieved to see that it was only Paul.

"Hello?" he greeted, a raspy tone coding his voice.

"Well hello there Harry. I'm calling to inform you that I'm just a few minutes away from your place,"replied Higgins."I'll alert you when I'm outside."

"Th-Thanks Paul. I'll be ready by the time you arrive. so you won't have to wait."

Sadness was evident in Harry's voice. Paul knew that much according to the voice coming from the other side.

"Harry? Is everything alright lad? Are you okay?" asked a greatly concerned Paul.

"Yeah Paul. Its no-nothing really."

"Don't lie to me boy. You know I can't be fooled that easily. Now are you going to tell me or not son?"

Paul Higgins had been a father figure to Harry while he was away from home as well as to the rest of the boys. He wasn't just the head of the security staff or the tour manager. He really did care a lot for the band. As a matter of fact he knew about the relationship between Harry and Louis and not once did he judge the lads. He had been completely against Management's ban on the relationship but there had been nothing he could do, for Modest could fire him and Paul simply couldn't afford to lose his job.

"It's nothing Paul. I just had a bad morning. A very bad morning." said Harry.

"Hmm. It has to do with Louis doesn't it?"

"N-No." replied Harry, a bit too quick.

"You're a terrible liar lad. I can hear right through you."said Paul,"I won't force you to tell me but just know that I'm here if you want to talk about it. Well I'll be getting off now son. I have a few calls to make. Bloody Modest has got me all over the place with the tour this year."

"Okay Paul. Thank you for caring. I'll be waiting for you. Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

 

 

**-15 MINUTES LATER-**

Harry jumped into his shower as soon as he arrived to his empty home. He sat on the cold floor fully clothed as the water washed away his tears. He needed the pain to leave his body. To be washed away just as his tears were. Sobbing was the only sound that echoed through the walls of the bathroom. Little by little he began to shed his clothes, tossing the wet material to the side. He closed his eyes willing his imagination to take him to his own world. A world where the suffering didn't exist. But that's all it was. His imagination. All it could ever be.

 

A plaid flannel, a white t shirt, black skinny jeans and a pair of Converse were Harry's choice of clothing after he had finished bathing. He was sitting in his living room pondering about what would happen with Louis now when a loud honk coming from outside brought him back to present thought. Paul had arrived.

After locking his front door, he started towards the van. He couldn't keep his eyes from gliding towards the back section of the vehicle where the seats that he had cuddled with Louis in were. The drives to the studio had been lovely. He and Louis would spend the whole drive engaged in playful banter and resting their heads on each other and now it would all be a memory. A fading one at that.

"Hello Harold. Good to see you son." greeted Paul as soon as he had entered the van.

"Hi Paul. Its nice to see you too."

"Well I'd say you're not quite happy to see me lad."said Paul as he started towards their destination. Management's headquarters.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not having a good day so far."

"Would you like to talk about it? You know I'm here if you'd like to vent or what not."

"I-I really don't want to talk about it."

"If that's what you want then." complied Paul."Now tell me about Modest. What the hell have they got up their bloody sleeve now?"

Harry immediately tensed after hearing Paul mention Management. His thoughts has been so clouded by Louis that he hadn't thought about them. What would he say?

"They want to......"

"To what Harry?"

"They-they want to get me another girl to date." said Harry, his reply bursting out of his mouth.

"Stupid Modest. They can never leave a bloke alone now can they? Always going about trying to control their client. It's just like 'em." ranted Paul. He detested the way Modest ran the lives of the people they managed.

"I'm not doing it Paul."

"I'm sorry?"

"I said I'm not doing it. I'm not letting them control me anymore. I've had enough."

"Harry you can't be serious lad. They will take you out of the band faster than you can say One Direction!"

"I don't care anymore. Let them do it. I'll manage. This was bound to happen anyway."

"What about the rest of the boys? How will they continue without you? You are quite an important part of the band after all."

Harry stayed silent. He hadn't considered Niall, Zayn or Liam. Surely they would learn to cope if Harry were to be left out of One Direction. Louis of course, was a whole different story.

"What about them Paul? They won't die without me. I'm sure they'll do fine. Modest will probably replace me anyway."

"Now Harry you know that's not true. The lads won't continue without you and no one can replace you Styles. So tell me, what do you plan on doing once we get to O'Reilly's office?"

"I'm going to say everything that I should've said in the beginning. I'm not letting them control my life anymore. I'm coming out. Whether they like it or not."

"Wait. You're coming out?" asked Paul. He was startled by Harry's abrupt decision to do it."Are you sure you're up for it son? I don't think its that easy and Modest will just give you a downright NO."

"I'm ready Paul. I've been quiet for far too long. I don't care about what the media will say. I'm just not going to continue putting up with something I'm not."

"What about Louis then?"

Harry felt the pain return. Paul was bound to ask about Louis. Tears began to fill his eyes once more.

"He......doesn't want to. He doesn't want to do it. We ended things this morning."

"Oh Harry I'm so sorry to hear that son. I really am." said Paul sympathetically. He had watched the two boys for over 3 years now and had seen them grow from the young boys they were to the young men they were now. It pained him to see their relationship become so broken over time."Things should've never been this way. Stupid Modest."

Harry agreed in his mind. He blamed Management for everything that had occured. Had they only accepted they're relationship in the first place, none of this would've happened. But most of all he blamed himself for letting it happen.

"You look tired lad. How 'bout you close your eyes for a bit. I'll wake you up when we get there."said Paul.

Harry nodded and layed his head to rest. He closed his eyes as he began to drift away. If only he could stay asleep forever to stay away from all his problems.

 

 

**-HALF AN HOUR LATER-**

"Harry. Harry. Wake up lad we're here. Wake up." said Paul as he shook the young boys shoulder.

Harry began to feel his nervousness kick in after he was awakened. They were here. The bloody office building of Modest Management. More like the hell of his Earth.

They began walking towards the main entrance where they were met by the receptionist. A petite middle aged blond woman by the name of Abbey, as Harry noticed through her name tag.

"Well hello there gentlemen. How may I help you." she asked.

"Hello ma'am. We're here for a meeting with Mr. O'Reilly. I'm sure he notified you of our visit?"asked Paul.

"Oh of course! Mr.Higgins and Mr. Styles! He sure did. I'll just call him to let him know." she said. The woman picked up her telephone and began dialling a number.

"Hello Mr.O'Reilly. I'm calling to inform that Mr. Higgins and Mr.Styles are here to see you. Should I let them up?" she asked,"Very well then sir. They will be there in a few. Goodbye."

"So yes then?" asked Paul.

"Yes sir. Just take the elevator up to the third floor. I'm sure you know the way to his office correct?" asked Abbey.

"Oh of course. No need to worry about that. Thank you. Come on Harry." he replied and with that they started towards the office to see the dreadful Mr.O'Reilly.

As they ascended towards the third floor, a nagging sensation began to tug at Harry's stomach. He was a nervous wreck. What would the outcome be? Would they let him? There was a really small chance they would. About 1% really. He stared at the indicator above the elevator door as it approached the number 3. And then they had arrived.

They walked out of the elevator and walked towards Mr.O'Reilly's office down the empty halls with classical music playing in the background. Then that's when Harry saw it. The door at the end of the corridor with bold letters written across it which spelled "MR. PETER O'REILLY". Harry felt as though he was about enter the lion's den.

"Well here we are lad. Good luck son." said Paul as he knocked on the door.

"Come in." said the voice behind it.

As Paul opened the door, Harry felt his heart begin palpitating at an unusual speed. This was it.

"Ah. Mr.Higgins. Mr.Styles. What a delight to see you both."greeted O'Reilly.

Peter O'Reilly was a slender man in his mid years with an ominous personality and a rather evil look. His piercing blue eyes shined with determination like those of a wild cat . His thick dark hair was slicked backwards and his beard did nothing but add more mystery to the man. He was dressed in a black suit with a blood red tie. Money was all he was about.

"Good afternoon Mr.O'Reilly. It's a pleasure to see you as well." greeted Paul, shaking hands with the head of Modest.

O'Reilly turned towards Harry as he extended his right hand towards him. Harry was all but forced to shake his hand.

"Hello Mr.O'Reilly." he greeted. His displeasure was bit too blunt.

"Hello Harry. It's nice to see you too." replied the man."Well we shouldn't waste time so how about we go ahead and take a seat so we can begin."

Harry proceeded to take one of the two seats positioned in front of Mr.O'Reilly's desk along with Paul. The head boss then took his own.

"Well as you may have heard, new rumors have begun to circle around you and Tomlinson and these are a lot more serious. That isn't very good now. We can't have this starting all over Styles. I'm afraid this calls for a new date. For the time being. We did warn you about it but you went right ahead and tattooed those rather obvious images onto your body along with Tomlinson last year."

"But-"

"I've already began to arrange a few potential dates. Gabriella Santa Rosa is one of them. You've heard of her right? The young beautiful Spanish model? She's said to be infatuated with you Harry."

Harry shook his head. Many woman fancied him but he of course was the least but interested in them.

" Well that's a shame. Anyway Cara Delevigne is still up. It wouldn't be bad to see you two pair up again."

"Mr.O'Reilly I don-"

"Or what about Emma Watson? She's single again and according to fans on the Web you two wouldn't be bad together. She does have a new movie coming out so it would be good for both parties."

"Mr.O'Reilly-

"So which is it Styles? Have you got your choice? Who will it be? Cara, Gabriella or-"

"No Mr.O'Reilly! I'm not doing this! I refuse to do it!" screamed Harry. The cat was out of the bag.

"Excuse me Harry? Did I hear that correctly? What did you just say?" asked the older man with disbelief written all over his confused face.

"I said no! I've had enough of you! I'm done! I won't let you do this to me anymore!"

"You better start to rethink Styles or you will regret every single thing that is coming out of your mouth!"

"No! I've already told you! You won't tell me what to do! Not anymore! You've ruined me enough!"

Mr.O'Reilly rose from his seat with his face heated from the anger anger. His eyes held pure rage against Harry.

"May I remind you about the contract we had boy?! You have a year left with us so until then you do as I say! Is that clear?! And don't you forget that I can end your time with the band!"

"To hell with the bloody contract! I don't fucking care what you do! Kick me out of One Direction if that's what you want but you won't run my life anymore!"

"You better hold your tounge boy before I have security escort you the hell out of my building!" threatened O'Reilly. He was far beyond angry now.

"Don't even bother. I'm leaving. Fuck Modest. I'm done." said Harry as he walked out fuming from the office.

Paul gave an apologetic look to the head manager and quickly went behind Harry.

"Harry! Wait son!" he yelled as he grabbed the boy by the shoulder."Just wait a few minutes in the hall. Let me talk to the man. Just wait okay?"

"But Paul he won't listen."

"I'll make him or I'll at least try to."

"Thank you Paul. I'll wait here. Just don't take too long. I need to get out of this place."

"I won't son. I'll be back" he assured the boy, as he walked back into the office.

 

 

- **PAUL** **P**. **O**. **V-**

Paul was back face to face with Mr.O'Reilly. He wanted to help Harry out any way he could. He cared for the boy and didn't want to see him out of the band.

"May I help you Higgins? What is it that you want?"asked a very angry Peter O'Reilly.

"Sir I came back to apologize for Harry's outburst. He's going through a really tough time right now."

"Is that all Paul?"

"Well Mr.O'Reilly I came back to ask you to reconsider."

"Reconsider what exactly?"

"The boy's decision to come out and to be left in the band."

"Ha! You must be mad Mr.Higgins! There is no way in hell I'm letting that boy do that. Do you not see that this simply cannot happen? It would ruin the whole band!"

"But Mr.O'Reilly please. All the boy wants is that. Give him a break!"pleaded Paul,"How are you even sure that it will backfire? We don't live in the same world as before. People are a lot more accepting now. Same sex marriage was legalized in the country last year after all. Just one chance sir."

"No Paul. Styles has been the most popular amongst the young fans and if we let him do that it will only spell disaster. One Direction has a tour coming up with the American band this year and I am NOT going to let Harry ruin it for them."

"You speak as if Harry doesn't have a supportive fan base. They love him. Even if the boys do lose fans they'll gain new ones."said Paul as he tried reasoning with the other man."Look at Union J. One of the lads in there is in fact gay and has that stopped them? No. Aiden Grimshaw is gay as well and he is still popular."

"Mr.Higgins don't try and change my decision because your banter will result fruitless."

"Sir. Don't you see that if you do indeed kick the lad out he will still go ahead and out himself? The media will surely go out against you for keeping him quiet and you will be highly criticized. They will be able to put two and two together. This will only hurt Modest."

"Are you threatening me Paul?"

"Absolutely not Mr.O'Reilly. I'm just stating possible outcomes. So what do you say?"

Peter gave him one hard look.

"I said no and that's final."

"Please sir. I beg of you. Reconsider."

"Would you like to be fired Paul?"

That was it. The man was completely hard headed. Paul now had to move towards what the manager cared for. The money.

"Well what if I said that letting him out would generate more money."

"I'm sorry?"

"If you were to let Harry come out surely the media would pay a huge load of money to have interviews with him. The LGBT organizations would want him to make appearances and would pay to have him in photoshoots and what not. Not to mention Modest would gain a whole lot of respect for supporting one of their biggest stars in coming out. That is of course if you let him."

Peter O'Reilly was now in deep thought. Paul knew he had him once he mentioned money. It was the only thing the man cared to reason for.

"Hmmm. You have a point there Higgins. A very good point. It's too risky though."

"Well there's no glory if you don't take the risk sir."

Peter stared into the eyes of Higgins. Would he really let Modest take the risk? It would in fact give a lot of publicity to the band's upcoming tour.

"What about Tomlinson?"

"He.....he isn't having any of it."replied Paul. His voice a bit downcast."The lad won't do it. Only Harry is."

"Well what a relief. Now we only have one of them to worry about.Perhaps this should be able to work."

"So its a yes then sir?"

"I hate to say this but you have a point Higgins. Call the boy in."

 

"Oh thank you sir! Thank you!"said Paul as he went to grab Harry. This could work!

 

 

**-HARRY P.O.V-**

 

Harry was sitting on the hall floor when Paul came out of the door rushing towards him.

"Harry! Harry! Come here son! Mr.O'Reilly wants to talk to you!" said a happy Paul. It had to be good news.

"What is it Paul? What did you tell him?"

"I found a way to reason with him. Now come on." said Paul as he grabbed Harry by the hand and led him back inside the room.

Harry was once again inside the lion's den. O'Reilly was standing by his desk with a hardened look on his face.

"Hello again Harry. Please take a seat."

The young boy did as he was told.

"Paul here has broadened my view on your decision to come out. But before we bargain with anything I need a proper apology." said Peter. A smug look crossing his face.

Harry's own facial expression hardened. This man was indeed mad. He had been the one to ruin his life with Louis. If anything O'Reilly should've been the one to apologize for everything he had done.

"Harry. Apologize to Mr.O'Reilly son." said Paul as he pleaded with his eyes to Harry.

"I'm.....sorry sir."

"Well. That wasn't very hard now was it? Anyway back to business. Higgins adviced me to let you do what you will do. This will in fact generate money for Management as well as heavy publicity for One Direction. You can stay in the band. All you have to do is say that we, Modest, had nothing to do with coming out until now. I don't care what you say as long as you keep us out of the whole "bearding" subject. Are we clear?"

Harry thought hard about that. Would he lie to the world and let Modest get away with it? Then again it was the only way he could stay with the band.

"Do we have a deal?"asked Peter as he extended his hand to shake on the agreement.

Harry slowly began to extend his own hand. But right before he could, Mr.O'Reilly closed his hand.

"Oh before we agree we must settle something. This whole "Larry Stylinson" thing. The media will be bound to ask you about it once you're out. You will deny it. If they bring up the tattoos make up anything. Say it was purely a bromance. You wouldn't want to hurt Tomlinson's image now would you?"

That hit Harry's very soul. This man knew what he was talking about. Harry had never denied the pair and to do it would feel so wrong. He couldn't deny what had really happened but he had no choice. He was making a deal with the devil. Once again.

"Now do we agree?" asked Peter as he once again extended his hand towards Harry.

"I.......agree"and with that he extended his own hand and shook the hand of the man before him. The deal had been made.

"Good. Now you can go ahead and carry on. I will have a talk with Mr.Simon Cowell. I have a feeling he won't oppose of your coming out. Wait for one more day. Do not say anything until Friday night. I'll give you his answer tomorrow."

"Thank you so much Mr.O'Reilly." said Paul as he shook hands with Peter.

"Thank you sir."said Harry with the gratitude barely coming out of his mouth.

"You are welcome Styles. Now just pray that everything comes out in your favor." replied the head manager while staring deep into the eyes of Harry with his own cold ones."Goodbye."

"Goodbye." replied Paul and with that they left the office.

 

As soon as they were out of the building the pair let out a sigh of relief. It was too good to be true. Harry never thought Modest would've ever let him come out.

"Thank you so much Paul. Thank you so much." said Harry as he hugged the older man. Tears began falling down his face. Tears of gratitude.

"Oh my boy. You're so welcome lad. I'm glad I was able to help you." replied Paul as he hugged the boy in return. He felt his own eyes water up."Oh bloody hell you're making me cry now."

They laughed as they broke apart and started towards the van. Maybe this was the beginning of a new start for Harry. Maybe now he could finally be himself. But as he walked, Harry felt the familiar pain return. His dream had been to come out with Louis. That wouldn't be happening anymore. It would now just be an unrealized dream. All it had been. Just a dream.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"So put it in all of the papers._

_I'm not afraid._

_They can read all about it..."_

_-Emeli Sande_

_"Read All About It"_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter O'Reilly = OC
> 
> And that one model too. Completely made up x) 
> 
> So there goes part 2 of the backstory. Like it? Dislike it? Kudos/comments are much appreciated :) oh and excuse any grammatical errors if there were any.


	5. Chapter Two

**-PRESENT-**

 

 

Ten minutes.

It had only been ten minutes since Harry had outed himself to the whole world and already the news had spread like a contagious disease throughout the Web. Media tabloids had begun sprouting wildly with articles on Harry's sexuality and fans started flooding his account with countless mentions and retweets. Many were congratulating him for his bravery while others were just completely sad and disappointed. He definitely had long weeks ahead of him.

 

 

 

 

_IloveHarry @CupcakeHarry_

_@Harry_Styles Congratulations Harry! I'm so happy for you baby!!_

 

_FollowMeHarry @Hazza1D_

_@Harry_Styles WHAT?! NO YOU CAN'T BE GAY! JUST NO! NO! :(_

 

_Nialler Is Mine @SexyNiall_

_@Harry_Styles Oh my god!!!! I knew it!! I fucking knew it xD Congrats Harry!!!!!!! I love you!!!!_

 

_BiggestDirectioner @1DInfection_

_@Harry_Styles OMG. What a waste. I'm so disappointed -.-_

 

_Crazed Shipper @Larry5eva_

_@Harry_Styles YES! YES! ASDFGHJKLHSK I'M SO FUCKING GLAD! CONGRATS HARRY! BUT WAIT. WHAT ABOUT LOUIS? :o_

 

 

 

 

Despite the amount of fans who were mad at the fact that he was indeed gay, Harry was happy for the many that were supporting him. Tweets from his bandmates, friends and family members began coming in as well. Of course it wasn't a total surprise to them. Harry had spoken to the boys yesterday about what he would be doing. They were completely shocked of course but had totally understood Harry and supported his decision to come out telling him that they would be right behind him for what was to come.

They were however, concerned for Louis. The breakup between the two would certainly have a great effect on him. They didn't understand why he didn't agree to come out with Harry. It had been his dream after all. But in the end it he had made his choice and that had to be respected.

 

 

 

_Niall Horan @NiallOfficial_

_@Harry_Styles Congrats bro! I'm so happy for you mate :) Love ya!_

 

_zaynmalik1D @zaynmalik_

_@Harry_Styles Harry! Congratulations! Glad you were brave enough to do this. I love you mate_

_:)_

 

_Liam Payne @Real_Liam_Payne_

_@Harry_Styles Congratulations Harry. I'm happy for you little brother. We're here for you mate. Love you :)_

 

_Anne Cox @AnneFoxyCoxy_

_@Harry_Styles I'm so proud of you baby :) I love you no matter what son. Never forget that. There is so much to talk about! xx_

 

_nick grimshaw @grimmers_

_@Harry_Styles well no surprise there mate ;) I'm so happy for you Harry! It wasn't me right? Haha kidding mate. We must talk soon!_

 

 

_Alan Carr Chatty Man @chattyman_

_Congratulations to @Harry_Styles for his brave decision in coming out. Looks like I have another dandy to compete with now :) Jk Looking forward to another interview with you and the lads later on mate!_

 

 

_Ed Sheeran @edsheeran_

_I'm so happy for one of the best people I know. @Harry_Styles. Cheers mate! That was one bold move there bro! You're so damn brave. Love ya._

 

 

 

 

A tweet from Louis though, was no where to be found. Harry tried not to be bothered by it but he couldn't avoid the hurt that stung his heart. The road from now on would be hard without him. What would become of them? Would they still talk? Would they be able to be in the same room without one of them breaking down? How would he live without Louis at his side?

Harry tried to forget about the pain and trouble for now and focused on what he was thankful for. Friends and family who supported him and accepted him for who he was. He couldn't ask for better people in his life. Especially for a mom like Anne. He was truly thankful to have a supportive mother like her. Had he not been born to a mom like Anne he wouldn't have known what to do. She was his rock.

As if on cue, his phone rang with an incoming call from his mother herself. He quickly proceeded to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Oh Harry baby! I'm so proud of you son! I really am!" came the ecstatic voice of his mother. He noticed the sound of what seemed like sobbing as well.

"Thank you so much mom. I'm glad to have someone like you in my life"he responded."Mom are you....crying?"

"Oh don't mind me honey. I'm crying because I'm so proud of my little baby! You can be yourself now and it makes me much more satisfied that my son doesn't have to hide."

"Thanks mom. Really" said Harry as tears came down.

"Oh honey please don't cry. You'll make me cry more over here." responded Anne as she gave a playful laugh."Oh Harry. You don't know how happy I am."

The two were engrossed in deep conversation for several minutes when Harry's phone gave off a notification sound. Niall was calling as well.

"Hey mom? Niall's calling. Can I take the call?"

"Oh of course honey. Go right ahead. We can talk tomorrow baby. Goodnight. I love you son."

"Thank you for everything mom. I love you so much! G'night." he ended as he answered the other call." 'Ello?"

"Hey Harrehhh! What's up bro? I'm right outside of your place mate. Open the door." said the cheerful Irish lad.

"Wait. What? Niall its late already. It's almost 10 p.m." said Harry as he looked outside of his window and clear enough there was Niall standing outside.

"Stop whining mate and open the door. It's bloody cold outside."replied Niall.

"Ugh. Fine. Coming mate." responded Harry as he clicked on the phone and walked towards the door to let Niall in.

The blue eyed lad was standing there wearing a light jacket atop his white top tank and blue jeans with his tousled hair peaking out of the snapback on his his head carrying two six packs of beer. What did he have up his sneaky little sleeve?

"Hey bro! Congrats! We are going to party! Just you and I. And don't say no because I've already got the beer so too late." said Niall as he let himself in.

"Hey Ni." saluted Harry as he closed the door."I don't like your plan mate. I'm not about to get piss drunk."

"Oh live it up Harry! It's your official coming out party! Come on bro. Just for tonight."

Harry looked into the eyes of his best friend. He could tell this was Niall's attempt to get Harry's mind off of the breakup and the negative comments he was receiving from many people.

"Come on Niall. Not now." he said glancing towards his friend who was putting up his best puppy dog eyes. "Well erm...... ugh fine Ni. You win." Harry said as he gave up without putting much of a fight. This boy wouldn't accept no for an answer any way.

"That's the spirit mate!" hollerd Niall. "I tried getting the others to come but they couldn't make it. Liam is with Danielle and Zayn is being all lovey dovey with Perrie and well Louis is out with-"

Niall stopped himself before he could continue with his sentence. Silence lingered heavily in the room. He noticed Harry stiffen at the mention of the name and a hurt expression cross his face.The curly haired boy's eyes became watery. He then felt guilty for bringing Louis up and walked towards Harry with open arms.

"Oh Harry I'm sorry. I didn't mean too." he apologized,"C'mere bro. You look like you could use a hug." said Niall."A Horan hug."

Harry took a moment and then accepted the embrace and buried his head into Niall's neck as he let his emotions run. He really needed someone to be there for him at the moment. If there was one thing he loved about his Irish friend was the caring personality he possessed.

Tears began soaking Niall's skin as he too felt his own eyes water. It hurt him to see his friend go through this tough time. He had after all known the younger lad since they were still the kids on the stairs during the X Factor. One could say that they had basically grown up together.

"Don't cry mate."he said, sobbing betraying his voice."It's going to be fine. It will work out."

"But I can't get over it Ni! I love him so much but he didn't choose me!" responded Harry, his hold on Niall becoming a bit tighter."He didn't want to do this with me!"

"I know Haz."said Niall sympathetically."But you can't let this keep you down. It's his loss if he didn't want to. Maybe one day you'll learn to move on mate."

"I don't know if I can. He was my world Niall. Fuck. He _is_  my world! And it fucking hurts not being able to move on. Why can't I just forget about him?"

Niall remained silent and held his grip on Harry. He had no words to comfort his friend when it came to the unfortunate ending of his relationship with Louis. He had witnessed how Harry had pretty much devoted the last three years to keeping his love life with the older boy alive and for it to just come to an abrupt end was nothing but a stab to the heart. All he could do was try his best to comfort Harry.

 

After releasing themselves from their embrace, Niall reached for the beer and handed a bottle to Harry.

"Okay. Enough crying. You got me all teared up and shit. Now cheer up bro.",he said while opening his bottle,"Forget about everything else."He then raised the glass object for a toast."Here's to your coming out."

Harry gave a faint smile as both of their bottles met. Drinking away the the pain seemed like a good way to go. The only thing he could do at the moment. Drink it away.

 

 

 

**-2/1 HOURS LATER-**

Harry and Niall were far from sober now. Both had already drank more than three bottles of beer and were now a pair of babbling fools. Bantering on and on about Management.

"It's all bl-bloody Modest's fault. Modest. F-Fucking Modest."ranted Niall.

"That's the same thing P-Paul said m-mate. But don't talk a-about that lot right now. They c-can go f-f-f-f-"

"F-f-f- what Harry? Y-ya can't even...ya c-can't even say it bro. You're gone!" blurred out Niall as he went into a fit of hysterical laughter.

"F-f-fuck themselves!" yelled Harry as he too joined Niall in laughing.

As he struggled to compose himself, Niall was finally able to grab Harry's laptop which had been lying on the nearby coffee table.

"Let's check the t-tweet tweets. I wanna see what they're sayin 'bout you mate."said Niall as he logged into his account."Wey hey!"

The trends of course, were almost completely about Harry. Many supporting Harry and others just completely astonished fans.

"WhataretheysayinNi?"mumbled Harry as he was barely able to usher the words out of his mouth.

"Ha!They l-love you mate. Look-look at the t-trends."

Harry's blurry vision was just about enough to make out the words in the trending tags.

 

 

 

 

_#WeLoveHarryStyles_

_#WeSupportYouHarry_

_#HarryIsOurPrincess_

_#HarryIsBrave_

_#HarryStopTrolling_

_#HeCantBeGay_

_#DirectionersLoveTheCupcake_

 

 

 

 

"Oi! This one's rich! Look Harry!" laughed Niall as he pointed to one of the tags.

Harry squinted to see what Niall's finger was pointing at on the screen. And then he saw it.

 

 

 

 

_#TaylorMadeHarryGay_

 

 

 

 

Harry then went into a fit of laughter as well. He had thought the fans had gotten over the "Haylor" relationship but apparently they still went about ranting against the American pop star. He couldn't help but smile.

"Was sh-she really that bad bro?" joked Niall."Made y-you go after the d and all?. "

"Sh-shut up Ni."responded Harry, landing a hit on Niall's right arm."She was kinda bad though. Got too damn clingy."

"Ha! I bet. Freaking Swifty!"laughed Niall."Here. Lemme tweet something."

His pale fingers began typing at a slow pace since he could barely tell the keys apart from the others do to his blurring vision.

"Harry. Wh-where's the bloody 'a' at mate?"

"I-It's right there Ni. I think."

"Where?"

"There Ni! Next to the....the 'z' I think? Or is it 's'?"

"Oh heehee. Found it."

"I-Idiot."

 

 

 

 

 

_Niall Horan@NiallOfficial_

_Wit @Harry_Styles hving fun! Few drnks! Live it up me aul son!_

 

 

 

 

 

Harry's drooping eyes then glanced towards one of the tags that had appeared. He couldn't make out the words due to his failing vision.

"Wha-what does that say Ni?" he asked pointing towards the tag.

Niall then noticed what the other boy was talking about.

 

 

 

_#WhatAboutLouis_

 

 

He quickly closed the the laptop and put it back onto the table.

"Erm....it was nothing mate. J-just another tag about you."said Niall as he did his best to sit up from the couch."Damn it's already 12:30. Gotta get home bro."

"No! St-stay Ni! You're too drunk any way. C'mon."protested Harry.

Niall looked at his friend. He was indeed in no state to drive and leaving the younger boy alone in his time of need would only leave him feeling guilty.

"F-fine. You win ya bastard! You bloody fucking win!" yelled Niall in defeat.

"Thanks Ni. I-I-I love ya mate. Youresodamngoodtome."said Harry."C'mere. Upstairs mate."

Both were stumbling up the stairs, barely able to make their way to their destination. They even had to stop a few moments to keep from falling down. As they reached the top, Niall was forced to take a hold of Harry's right arm and swung it over his shoulders as he secured his left arm over the limping boy's waist.

They entered Harry's room where Niall laid his friend down on the bed.

"Thank you Ni. For caring. For everything. Youremybestfriend."muttered Harry as his eyes gave away.

"Welcome bro. Love ya." muttered Niall, falling onto Harry's bed for he was too weak to make his way into one of the guest rooms.

"Hey.",whispered Harry."Hey Ni?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you- do you think Louis will forget about me?"

"I dunno Haz."responded Niall."I-I really don't know what to tell ya. Stop thinkin mate. It will be a new *yawn* day when ya wake up. Sleep bro."

"Yeah okay. Goodnight Ni."

"G'night Harry."

As he began to fall asleep, a silent tear slipped past his eye. Harry wished that he could stay drunk forever. It seemed like the only way he could forget about his problems. Leave the world temporarily. At least for a moment. His body faded into deep slumber as numbness took over. Nothing ever felt so sweet.

 

 

 

Unbeknownst to the sleeping boys upstairs, a mention towards Harry had been made on Twitter by none other than Louis himself.

 

 

 

_Louis Tomlinson@Louis_Tomlinson_

_@Harry_Styles Congratulations mate. Wish you the best. You deserve it._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"I've become_

_comfortably numb..."_

_-Pink Floyd_

_"Comfortably Numb"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you were wondering, Anne is pretty much the only family member that Harry has (idk why I didn't add gemma or his dad) so she's still AnneFoxyCoxy x) oh and yes there are only 140 characters on Twitter but not in this world!!!! We should really have a lot more available .__. And those fan accounts are the work of my imagination. If they so happen to be real then its purely coincidental.
> 
> So that's chapter 2 :) reviews are greatly appreciated. I love to hear from readers. Thank youuuuu


	6. Chapter Three

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

 

Harry groaned as he woke up from his sleep the morning after. The hungover had begun. Memories of what had occured last night began to sink in. Niall had very much succeeded in his mission to help him forget the current events. He would be hearing from him.

Harry lifted himself up with his elbows as he sat atop the bed while rubbing his temples. Little sunshine had made its way through the curtains that draped over the windows and were definitely not contributing to Harry's mood.

The smell of tea was in the air. Footsteps echoed from the floor below as they became louder as they came up the stairway. Niall was still here.

A pale hand tapped lightly on the door as Niall's head poked through it. He then walked in holding a cup of tea in his hands. So much for knocking.

"Wakey wakey Harry. How you feeling bro?"asked Niall as he handed the cup to him.

"Damn you Ni. My head is bloody killing me. Why the hell did you make me drunk last night?" responded Harry while taking the cup in his hands.

"Woah. Hold on there mate. You didn't put up much of a fight either. I actually tried stopping you after your third bottle but I guess you don't remember." replied Niall as he chuckled. Seeing Harry hungover was always quite amusing.

"Fuck you mate."said Harry. The tingling sensation of the hot honey sweetened tea traveled down his throat as the warmth spread throughout his body. It was certainly helping."What about you Ni. How come you're not in a bitch mood?"

"Well for starters I'm Irish. Drinking is in our blood. We can handle the booze.",he said with a smug expression."You on the other hand are English meaning too much of a pussy when it comes to heavy drinkin."

Harry managed to let out a laugh. Count on Niall to make your day better when you've woken up in a bad mood. That cheeky bastard.

"Grimmy called. Didn't wanna wake you up so I told him I'd tell you to call back." informed Niall.

"Grimmy called? What for?"

"Didn't say. You don't have a thing going on do ya? You know now that you're out and all?"

" What? Oh no Ni. Believe me we're just friends. Nothing more goin on between us."

"Okay then. Just lookin out for you mate. Don't want to see ya hurt again." said Niall. The brotherly bond that he had formed with the younger lad had significantly tightened after what had happened. Seeing him so broken had made Niall very protective of him lately."He tweeted you by the way."

"Who?"

"You know who."

Louis.

Of course.

He was bound to send him a message either way. Or it would've been "suspicious" if he hadn't seeing as to how everyone else had tweeted him.

"What........what did he say?" asked Harry as his heart began to beat a bit faster than normal. He knew he would break no matter what the message was.

"Well he congratulated you of course. Wished you well and all that."replied Niall. He noticed the other boy's face become blank. No emotion whatsoever. His eyes stayed glued to the porcelain cup that he held.

"Is that it?" asked Harry, his voice completely void with emotion.

"Yeah. Yeah that's just about it."

Harry's lips quivered as he felt the oncoming tears that threatened to spill. He longed for the day that he wouldn't be affected by what had unfortunately happened. Sadly, that day seemed farther away.

"Harry. You can't keep breaking down like this. You have to carry on bro. Life continues."

"Don't you think I want to Ni? I can't just move on like nothing happened. I still have feelings for him."

"And I completely understand Harry. I know the break up is still fresh and all but maybe you will eventually get over it bro. Just don't let it bring you down." he said as he wiped a tear that had fallen from Harry's cheek."Now come on. Go take a nice shower and get dressed up 'cause Liam and Zayn are coming over. I called them up. They wanna see you."

"Fine Ni."complied Harry

"At a boy"

"Shut up."

"Ha. Okay mate. I'll be downstairs. Let me try to cook some breakfast."

"You do that. And try not to burn the house down."said Harry. "Oh and Niall?"

"Yeah?"

Before he was able to react, a heavy pillow came flying across the room and landed right on the Irish boy's face sending him stumbling quite a few steps back.

"Ya cunt!"

"That is for the hangover!",laughed Harry as he quickly locked himself within the bathroom.

"I'll get ya for that Harreh!"

 

 

 

 

**-15 MINUTES LATER-**

The hot shower had certainly done its job in fully awakening Harry as he stepped into his room to get ready for the day. He searched within his drawers and closet for an outfit and in the end complied with a pair of denim jeans, his black Rolling Stones t shirt and his usual black and white converse.

After drying his curly locks he opened the door and began making his way downstairs. Faint voices could be heard below. Zayn and Liam had arrived.

 

The lads were engaged in a conversation in the kitchen and Harry couldn't help but stop to hear what it was about.

"-what about Lou. Where is he?" asked Niall

"Out with.....El."replied the deep voice belonging to Liam. Harry tensed as he heard who they were talking about.

"He's been hanging out with her a lot lately."added Zayn."He's really trying to believe that he's into her."

"What an idiot."replied Niall.

The blue eyed lad had developed a bit of a disliking towards the oldest boy recently. He was mad at Louis for being a coward when Harry had pleaded him to come out with him and after finding out that Louis had slapped Harry a few days ago he really had a whole different mindset.

"You can at least cut him some slack Ni."reasoned Liam."Louis hadn't had it that easy either."

"Well that's all on him. If he really cared for Harry he would've had the balls to come out with Harry." responded Niall.

Harry's heart broke after hearing about Louis and Eleanor. The pair had really been out together lately. It was as though Louis believed that his relationship with the girl was actually real. How hard was he trying to not be seen as a homosexual?

"Come on Harry get yourself together."whispered Harry as he willed his tears to stay within. He wouldn't shed a tear. At least not at the moment.

"Is Harry still alive? He's taking an awfully long time up ther-"

"Good morning guys." greeted Harry as he interrupted Zayn.

"Hey Harry. How you doin mate?" asked Zayn as he got up from his chair and walked over to hug Harry.

"I've been better Zayn." he said as he returned the embrace.

"Hello Harry. Congrats. I'm happy for you mate." added Liam. He too walked towards Harry and joined the pair in a hug.

"Thanks Li. I appreciate it." thanked Harry as he put an arm around the other lad as well,burying his neck in the others neck.

"What is this? Harry sandwich day? Lettim come eat breakfast guys."said Niall as he put a plate of pancakes on the table.

The hugging threesome chuckled and let go off one another as they headed towards the table.

"Since when do you cook Ni?" asked Zayn as he dipped into Harry's plate taking a piece of a pancake.

"Since Harry put up with my shit last night. I owe him that much." responded the blonde as he poured more of the batter into the pan.

"Well it taste like shit."

"Say that again bro and I'll shove that pancake so far down your throa-"

"Guys not now."interrupted Liam, ever the peace keeper in the group."Zayn it isn't that bad. Just try and keep the eggshells out of the batter next time Niall."

Harry let out a laugh along with the other two boys while Niall narrowed his eyes at them. Ungrateful lot.

"Sorry Ni. You did leave some in there."said Harry as he poked through his pancakes trying to find the crunchy shells."But they're good mate. For someone who doesn't cook its good. Thanks"

"Hmmm. At least you weren't able to taste the vinegar."

Zayn began to choke as he spat out the piece of pancake that he had been chewing on after what Niall had said.

"Niall what the fuck man! You sick bastard! Why the fuck would you put vinegar in pancakes?!" yelled Zayn.

"Ha! Kidding mate." said Niall. Loud laughter filled the room as he struggled to compose himself. If only he had had a camera to capture the incident."That's for saying that my food tasted like shit."

"Stop being such a baby Zayn and sit down." said Liam as he turned his focus to Harry."Anyway Harry, how have you been?"

"I've been better Li."responded Harry.

"I bet. Did Niall here give you trouble last night?"

"Well not really. Just had a couple of drinks. Nothing much."

"Nothing much? Nialls tweet last night practically screamed pissed drunk mate." interrupted Zayn.

"Oh that is nothin bro. You should see me after drinking a whole pack and a half by myself!" boards Niall.

"I really don't want to see that." said Liam."So Harry, has O'Reilly talked to you yet?"

Harry's demeanor then darkened. Peter was one of the last people he wanted to speak to at the moment.

"No not yet Li. He probably will in a bit."

"Hmm. So uh.....how have you been coping with the comments?"

Reactions on the Web were still pouring in about his coming out. Most being supportive but others just downright bashing.

"Well.... I'm lucky to have people who support me. Some of the fans are upset but overall supportive. I haven't read the articles on me though. Don't want to see it."

"Screw what they have to say mate."ranted Zayn."They can say whatever they want. We know it isn't true."

"What he said." added Niall as he turned off the stove and sat on the table with his in stack of pancakes. A towering one at that.

"Thanks guys." appreciate Harry. Having supportive bandmates like Zayn, Niall and Liam was a real blessing to his life.

"You're welcome bro."said Liam as he patted Harry on his back."By the way the tour's coming up in a few months. What do guys think? About the new lads and everything?"

"Can't wait!" said Niall. Voice muffled due to a stuffed mouth."Maybe I'll learn a few things from the blokes who play guitar."

"Well I'm still sore from the TMH tour but I'll manage til then. I don't really know much about 'em to be honest but I'm pretty excited as well. "added Zayn.

"Me neither. I mean I've listened to a few songs on the radio but never actually took time to look into them. I do like the lead singer's voice though. It's really nice."said Harry.

New Divide had been become very popular lately. And like One Direction, especially among young girls. However, they were not a boy band but an alternative rock band instead.

Around mid last year their song, "Your Guardian Angel", had reached number 1 in numerous charts around the globe and had been a highly requested song on radio stations all over the U.K. Their debut album had further increased the American lads' popularity and had landed them on a greatly anticipated tour with One Direction later on this year. Tickets had already sold out ever since the announcement had been made last November.

"Well it looks like we'll be meeting them early. Rehearsals will start in a few months. Not sure if we'll be goin off to the U.S soon." informed Liam."The tour won't be long though so don't worry about the soreness Z."

"Oh thank goodness."said Zayn as he sighed in relief."Well let's talk about Harry being 20 in about a week shall we?"

Harry had completely forgotten about his upcoming birthday. So much had happened in a few days that he had barely had time to think about February 1st.

"Yeah! Harreh is finally gonna be part of the club." cheered Niall."Gonna get him wasted again."

"Oh no no no you're not Ni. I swear I'll kill you if you try that again."threatened Harry. His latest hangover was not the best experience. His head still ached.

"Don't worry mate. I'll keep him in check." said Liam.

"In other words he'll try but in the end he'll fail miserably."

"Shut it Niall."

The boys continued with the conversation for quite some time when Harry's phone began to ring. He quickly checked the called I.D and saw that it was none other than Mr.O'Reilly.

"Who is it Harry?" asked Niall.

"O'Reilly. Excuse me guys I gotta take the call."said Harry as he walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Hello?"

"Good morning Harry. Have you read today's newspaper magazine headlines?" asked Peter.

"No sir I haven't."

"Well allow me to inform you about them. ' _STYLES OUT O_ _F THE CLOSET_ ', ' _HARRY DE-WOMANIZER_ ', ' _HE GOES ONE DIRECTION_ ' and so on and so on. Well it wasn't half as bad as we thought it would be. Your prayers were answered."

"Erm......I guess so sir."

"Lucky you. Anyway I'm calling to let you know that an interview has been arranged for you tomorrow with the folks at Daybreak."

Harry had known that interviews would be requested in short time but he didn't know it would be that quick. Today was barely his first of being out.

"Well that was pretty fast."

"Better to get this out of the way sooner than later. The real important notice that I have for you is that they are bound to ask you about Tomlinson. You of course will deny it."

Harry's fresh wounds began to tear even more. Never once had he denied his relationship with Louis and to do it knowing that what they had was in fact real would just feel so wrong. Even if they weren't together anymore.

"Mr.O'Reilly I don't know if I can-"

"Don't you dare back out Styles. We had a deal. You deny the whole "Larry" ordeal and get over with it. I let you do your whole coming out now its time for you repay the favor. Now you better start coming up with a story and make it credible. Do you understand?"

No response.

"Do you understand boy?"

Harry hesitated before answering. Would he really deny it? What would Louis think?

"I'm sure Louis wouldn't want you outing him."said Peter as if he had read the curly haired boy's thoughts."Would you destroy him like that?"

"Fine. I understand. I'll give them........a story."

"That's a good lad. Well I'll be seeing you tomorrow at their studios so goodbye for now Harry."

"Bye."said Harry as he threw his phone to the couch.

"What happened Harry?"asked Liam. The boys had been standing behind him the whole time.

"Yeah what did he say bro?" asked Niall.

"He-he told me I have an interview tomorrow with Daybreak."

"Is that it?"

"No ummm. I have to......... I have to deny my relationship with Louis if they ask me about it."

His friends became quiet. Harry had never once done such a thing in past interviews. Louis hadn't either. He would manage to get through the questions but he would never actually deny the two. For Harry to do it now would be more than he could bare.

"Bloody O'Reilly. Are you gonna carry through with it mate? Denying it?"

"I have to Li. I made a deal with the man. And......Lou- Louis wouldn't want to be outed." admitted Harry. It hurt to even say the other boy's name.

"I'm so sorry Harry. Believe me if there was anything I could do I would. I'm so sorry mate."said Liam as he hugged his friend.

The rest of the boys joined the two as well. Life was being tough on Harry and Louis. No sign of healing was anywhere on sight. Things could only get worse.

Another phone call interrupted the moment. Who could it be now?

"It's Grimmy."said Harry after checking his phone. The group hug was then dismantled.

"Oh right remember I told you that he called?"commented Niall.

Harry nodded and answered the call.

"Hello."

"Hey Harry. About time we talk. I called earlier. I'm sure Nialler told you?"

"Oh right yeah. I'm sorry I......forgot to call back."

"It's alright all is forgiven. Are you okay mate? You sound like you were crying."

"Umm no I just- have a little runny nose that's all."lied Harry.

"Uh huh sure. So anyways mate I'm done with my radio shift and I'm free now so get ready 'cause we are going out for lunch or whatever."

"Oh no Grimmy thanks but-"

"Nope. I'm not taking no for an answer Styles so get ready. I'm going to your place to pick you up in a few."

"But.........ugh. Okay fine Nick. Just don't take too long."

"Ha! Told you. Okay will do. Be there in a few minutes. Ta ta for now mate."

"Bye Grimmy."said Harry.

"What did he want?" asked Zayn.

"Erm nothing he just wanted to go out for lunch or something. We haven't met in a while."answered Harry."I really don't want to go out though."

"You should go mate. You're not gonna stay locked up forever. Go out."advised Liam.

"But you guys are here. I'd feel fucked up for leaving you guys."

"Oh don't worry about us Harry. We were actually about to go out."said Niall."Me and Liam wanna catch a new movie that came out.

"Yeah and Perrie wants to go out."added Zayn.

"Yet again."mumbled Niall.

"Oh shut up Ni. At least I spend time doing something with someone other than violently masturbating." taunted Zayn.

"Oh fuck you Z. You're Perrie's little whipped bitch."fired Niall.

"Guys don't start."warned Liam.

Harry chuckled a bit. His friends would never grow up. Some things would never change. A part of his mind though, said otherwise.

 

 

 

**-20 MINUTES LATER-**

"So first of all congratulations on your coming out mate. It's not every day that a popstar like you is able to do it." said Nick.

The two had arrived at a cafe and were seated at a hidden booth in the back of the building for privacy. Harry couldn't deal with the swarms of paparazzi at the the moment.

"Thanks Grimmy. I appreciate it."

"I hope it wasn't my charm that made you a fruit cake."joked Nick.

"Oh don't worry. I'm immune to your supposed charm."

"Ha. That's what they all say."said Grimmy as he took a sip of his latte."Anyways talk to me. How's everything been. And don't leave any details out."

"Ummm well.......it hasn't been the best of circumstances lately."

"Hmmm I can imagine.Tell me about it."

"I erm I............I broke up with Louis." whispered Harry.

"What?! No. Why? What do you mean?"

"Shhhh. Keep it down will ya?"

"Oh I'm sorry."said Nick as he lowered his voice."How did it happen?"

"He- he didn't want to come out with me. He was......too scared." said Harry.

"I'm so sorry mate. That is just so painful to hear. After everything you two have been through. Who called it quits?"

"I did."

"Wait what? You? Why?"

"Because I couldn't deal with it anymore Nick. I wasn't going to put up with hiding anymore. Management wanted me to date another girl again."

"Those little fucks. Why are they still in the business anyway? I'm talking shit about them on my next show. But yeah how did it go down?"

"Well they called me in the morning a few days ago and told me to go to a meeting. Louis came home and I told him about the plans they had for me and he said that I would be able to put up with it like before but I told him no because I would come out."said Harry as he began to shed tears."I begged him Nick. I begged him to do it with me but he was too fucking scared to do it. He promised me we'd do it together. So I told him I was done. That I would do it with or without him. And of course he chose to stay with.......Eleanor."

"He chose the beard? What an idiot. And her too. Sorry I just don't like her. But anyway continue." said Nick.

"So I left the house after and then I went with Paul and when we got to Mr.O'Reilly's office he said that it was time for another date. I said no and told him I was gonna come out but he told me I was gonna get kicked out of the band if I did. Paul somehow made him change his mind. O'Reilly said that I could but.......I can't say anything about my relationship with Louis to the media. I have to deny it."

"And? Are you Harry?"

"I have to Nick. It was a deal. And Louis wouldn't want to be outed because of me."

"Anyone can tell that that boy is gay. It's the truth. You know what? I'm just really not liking Modest or Louis right now so let's change the subject before I rage." said Grimmy."Ooo. Your birthday is coming up Harry. Have I got plans for that day."

"Oh no Grimmy. Ever since that stripper stunt you pulled last year you are definitely not throwing a party."warned Harry. It had been so akward last year."And I don't think I can celebrate this year. Everything's been bad."

"Oh come on Styles. You are not going to let anything stop you from enjoying your birthday okay? I'm not letting that happen so don't even start lagging it."

"Grimmy I'm really not in the best condition to party right now."

"Then you will be on that day. Come on Harry. You can't let this bring you down like that. I know it hurts but you can't just quit life and shun everything out."

"It's just........I fucking miss him Nick. It hurts not being with him after all this time."

"And I totally understand. I know you dedicated a long time to your relationship but sometimes we have to let go. It might take a long time before we fully recover."said the older lad as he took Harry's hand."But you can't let it determine your future Harry. You've got to continue mate."

"I wish I could Nick. I wish I could."

It would certainly be a long time before Harry could overcome his broken heart.

"Maybe we'll just have to wait and see what happens later then."

"Maybe we will."

 

 

 

**\- LATER THAT NIGHT-**

Harry was finally back to an empty home again. After a day out with Nick and being chased by the paps Harry needed some much needed sleep. The interview was tomorrow and he was dying from the anticipation. How would he deny "Larry Stylinson"? Would they believe him? Would Louis be mad about it? Did he even care anymore? So many questions swam in his head and no answers were provided.

He was just about to lay down when an incoming phone call disrupted the moment. It was a restricted number. Confusion crossed his face as he answered.

"Hello?"

No answer.

He was able to hear someone holding their breath on the other side.

Then came the voice that he had longed to hear. The voice that he had missed.

"Please don't tell them anything about us. Don't let them know." said the voice.

Harry's heart shattered. He couldn't believe that Louis wasnt objecting to Harry denying their relationship. Was he that serious about keeping his "straight" appearance? Harry battled between hatred and complete sadness. He tried as hard as he could to answer with no emotion at all.

"Don't worry............I won't." he replied,his voice touched by pain, and with that he quickly ended the call and sank to his knees. This night would be long.

All he could do was cry and let questions penetrate his broken walls. How did they end up like this? When did they stop fighting for their love? Hadn't they promised to make it through?

A promise they couldn't keep.

A promise not handled with care.

A promise left torn in the end.

 

 

 

 

_"Is this where I let go_

_Is this where I get by on my own now_

_I'm on my own_

_Am I breaking up_

_Is there something wrong here_

_Something's wrong"_

_-The Word Alive_

_"Are You On Drugs"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/comments are most welcomed :) I'd love to hear what you think so far. Thank youuuuuu


	7. Chapter Four

"Calm down Harry." urged Paul. "Take a deep breath and just let it go. It will be over soon. Just a few minutes of the interview and then you'll be out."

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

Harry repeated the pattern until he was able to keep himself from having a meltdown.

It was Sunday. The day designated for his interview with Daybreak. Rising from his bed that morning had been a struggle. His whole night had been spent on thinking about what he would say to the media. What the story behind the several women would be. The tattoos. The rumored romance between him and Louis. But most of all, his mind had been on the brief conversation he had had the previous night with the older lad.

Louis had been quick to call once he has been notified of Harry's interview on the following day. Turned out Liam had accidentally let out the piece of information after visiting his friend for a quick chat later that day. If Harry's heart had been broken after the break up then it was completely shattered now. Nothing left to repair. Louis' immediate plead for Harry to stay quiet about their relationship had struck him to his core. Neither of them had ever denied it. Dismissal of the questions had been constant by their part but denial had never been an option. But now it was a must. After all, it had been by Louis' own words.

Harry had fought hard to keep down the urge to hate Louis. He couldn't even begin to describe what he had felt after hearing the older lad's voice for the first time in over two days only to have been met with a request for denial. Betrayal could've been an adequate word.

So much had been on his mind that the only way he was able to turn it down was through sleeping pills. Now, standing outside of the studios, he wished he could be back in bed away from everything. In his own world.

"I'm trying to Paul. But I'm just so nervous."responded Harry.

"Come on Harreh. Calm down bro. You got this." said Niall, who had tagged along with Harry and Paul. Showing support for his friend was the best he could do for now.

"Thanks Ni. I'm so glad you came. Really." thanked Harry. "You too Paul. Thanks."

"Anytime mate." responded Niall as he patted Harry on his shoulder.

"Same here son. Now come on before O'Reilly sends out a search party for you." added Paul as he let the boys into the building.

Just yesterday, Mr. O'Reilly had arranged an interview for Harry with the people at Daybreak. Various news shows and magazines had been vying for a one on one interview with the young star ever since he had came out. In the end, Daybreak has offered quite a sum for the interview and had won.

Waiting for him at the entrance of the studio was O'Reilly, dressed in one of his usual black suits, white button up shirt, black tie, well polished shoes, and his signature slicked back hair. His vibrant blue eyes met Harry's own as he neared the man. Harry felt himself shutter under the gaze.

"About time Styles. I was beginning to think you had backed out the last minute." greeted Peter.

"I'm here now sir." responded Harry, sounding rather displeased.

"I fancy the enthusiasm." said O'Reilly, sarcasm lacing his voice."Good morning Paul. I see you brought Mr.Horan along with you two."

"Good morning sir. Yes. Niall here decided to come and show support for Harry. Hope you're okay with that."

"Oh of course. Fancy seeing you here with us Horan." said Peter as he extended a hand towards the blonde.

Niall looked at O'Reilly dead in the eye as he slowly extended his own hand for a proper handshake. His usual warm blue eyes turned cold as they met Peter's own blue ones.

"Likewise O'Reilly", said Niall as he took a firm grip of the older man's hand.

Harry noticed the tention between the two. His eyes gave a warning sign to Niall telling him to supress his discontent towards the older gentleman. The Irish boy then let go off Peter's hand as he forced himself to ease his mood.

"Well, come along then. The interview is about to start in a few." said the head manager as he let the group inside the building.

Harry's heart hammered within his chest. He wanted to turn around and run home. As they entered the studios, they were met by a man holding a tablet and wearing an ear piece. Perhaps one of the executives in here or so thought Harry.

"Ah. Mr.O'Reilly. Good thing you've arrived. The interview begins in about 10 minutes or so." he said as he acknowledged the rest of Peter's company."In the mean time, Harry please make your way to the dressing rooms. Alice, our stylist, is there to get you ready for the cameras. You've been here before so I assume you can find your way right?"

"Of course sir. Thank you."

"Good. I'll come get you in a few then lad. I have to go now and get the equipment in place." said the man and with that he went on his way.

 

 

 

 

 

************ 

"Well hello there Harry. Come. Sit down and let me get those curls of yours ready." said the female waiting inside the room whom Harry assumed was Alice.

She was a young medium sized girl with long auburn hair with a few curls ,hazel eyes, light warm skin, straight edged nose, slight full lips, a small tattoo imprinted on her neck ,which Harry thought looked like a name, dressed in black tights, a grey cardigan sweater, grey blouse underneath and black heels on her feet. Harry also noticed her South London accent. She was quite beautiful. The glasses that she wore added to her kind appearance. Alice looked no older than 20. Had Harry been playing for the other team, he would've surely asked her out on a date.

Harry nodded a hello towards her and did as he was told.

"So you've grown your hair a bit more I see.", she said as she began to brush his hair to the right side.

"Oh yeah. I haven't really noticed it. Or maybe.......I've just been too lazy to cut it." he said chuckling.

"A few more months and you'll end up looking like you did in the Up All Night days." said Alice.

She then began to apply powder on his face with a small brush.

"So congratulations on your coming out. I can't even begin to imagine how terrified you must've been."

"Thank you. And believe me it was quite terrifying. But you know. I did it already and well it just.....it just feels a lot better to have gotten that out of he way."

"Hmmm I bet. Was your management okay with it?"

"Ummmm.....yeah of course. They were pretty.....supportive." said Harry, not sure if his answer had sounded quite convincing.

"Well that's good. So I've heard about the tour coming up with the New Divide lads. I absolutely love their music. Do you?"

"I've only heard about two songs to be honest. I was talking about them yesterday with my mates actually. I do like the lead vocalist's voice."

"Is that  _all_  you like from him?" she said, her tone sounding quite mischievous.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh nothing. Never mind." said Alice with a sly grin that Harry was able to catch through the mirror in front of him."So no new ink on ya?"

"Oh no not at the moment. I have quite enough for now. But who knows. Maybe in the future."he responded."By the way what's that say on your neck?"

"Oh that's the name of my little sister. Love her to death. She's sixteen and all I've got. Absolutely loves One Direction."she replied.

"Oh really now?"

"Yes. She calls the band her inspiration. And she also considers you to be her role model now more than ever."

"Why is that?"

"A bit of a long story."

"I don't mind."

 

Alice seemed to ponder whether to go ahead and tell the story. She then took a deep breath.

"She's lesbian Harry. After finding out about your coming out you wouldn't believe how emotional she got. Said she could relate to what you went through. Poor Rebecca had such a difficult time coming out herself. My parents disowned her after she did and I took her under my wing while I was still in uni. Had to drop out in order to look after her and work."said Alice. Harry could tell from the sound of her voice that she wanted to cry."You are her favorite from the band and knowing that you are like her in that way gives her a lot of courage." she continued,"Believe it or not you're a role model Harry. I can guarantee you that quite a handful of your fans and of the rest of the band or just young people in general are most likely going through similar things in life and you doing this has given them the strength to be themselves. You are a huge star after all and coming out under so much pressure is amazing."

Harry had never given much thought to that. Fans that looked up to him for inspiration. It felt good to be someone that could set an example for the rest. Good knowing that he stood up for who he was. If only others had the courage to do it as well. Harry definitely wasn't thinking about a certain lad in the band.

"Oh my. I'm getting all teary eyed over here. Excuse me." said Alice as she took a tissue from a drawer.

"Go ahead. I'm about to start crying myself and I don't want to ruin your work."

The pair let out a laugh as a knock came from the other side of the door.

"Who is it?" asked Alice.

"Niall." said the voice.

"Your bandmate is here?" questioned Alice as she turned towards Harry, a blush noticeable on her cheeks.

"Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that to you. Should I let him in?"

"Ohyeahofcoursegoahead."blurted out Alice. Was she nervous?

"Come in Ni."

"Harry its almost time- oh. Hello there." greeted Niall as he noticed Alice."You must be Alice."

"M-morning. Yes I am. You must be N-Niall."greeted Alice as she tried her best to keep herself from looking foolish.

"The one and only babe."

"Niall." warned Harry. He could tell that the blonde was already trying to woo the young girl.

"I'm just about done with Harry here so h-he won't t-take long." she said.

"Oh take your time honey."he replied." By the way I didn't introduce myself properly although you already know who I am. It's Niall. Niall Horan."he said as he walked over to the girl and extended a hand.

"Oh ummmm Alice."she replied, taking his hand."Alice Harris."

"Well nice to meet you Alice."

"S-same here." she replied, giving a very shy smile while keeping her eyes downcast.

"You're very pretty Alice."

"Oh thank you you'requitecharmingyourself ermm-"

A loud beeping noise interrupted the akward situation as Alice grabbed her phone from the top of one of the drawers.

Saved by the ring.

"Oh shoot. Looks like they need me in another room."she said."This meeting's going to have to be cut short. It was so nice meeting the both of you lads."

"It was nice mee-

"It was a pleasure meeting you too Alice." interrupted Niall making her all but blush furiously while Harry stared at him with disappointment for interrupting.

"Oh by the way. Can you guys sign my sisters poster? She knew I'd be meeting you Harry so she told me if I could ask you to. With N-Niall here it will make her so much happier." she said as grabbed a rolled up poster from one of the chairs in the room.

"Of course. I'd be happy to." replied Harry as he took the marker that was handed to him and began to sign his name along with a few words for the girl.  

 

Niall then signed it himself and handed it back to the girl.

"Thank you guys so much. This will make her ecstatic. Thank you." she said as she grabbed her purse and began to walk out."I'll leave you lads here now. I hope we meet again sometime."

"Oh we will be seeing each other soon alright."said Niall as he grinned at Alice.

"Ignore this bloke. I hope so too Alice. Thank you." replied Harry.

"Very well then. Goodbye." she said but not before nearly stumbling after walking out the door do to Niall's shameless wink.

"You bloody bastard mate. You had poor Alice studdering after you walked in."

"What? She's cute. I can't help it." confessed Niall."Besides. I think she likes me too. Did you see her blushing bro?"

"No shit I did Ni. She looked like a boiling tomato." responded Harry making Niall chuckle.

"How old is she by the way?"

"I don't know mate. I didn't ask. She's gotta be about 19 or 20."

"Nice."

"Are you thinking about dating her?"

".........."

"Niall."

".........."

"Fine whatever. Just don't do anything stupid. She seems like a very sweet girl."

"Oh come on Harry I'm a gentleman." said the other boy."But enough about the princess. I'm here to see if you were okay. So......you alright mate?"

"I don't know Ni. I'm just so damn nervous."

"Just don't think about that mate. You'll get through it just fine. I know it." 

 

"But how am I supposed to lie without giving it away?"

"Don't think about that right now. Try and stay calm when the questions start coming your way. I know its hard but do your best mate."

"I just...... I don't know mate. In scared."

"Don't be." said Niall as he gave his friend a hug."You'll get through it bro. I believe in you."

"Thanks Ni."

"You're welcome. Now let me straighten your outfit a bit." he's said as he let go off Harry and flattened the wrinkles on the younger boy's black blazer and white formal shirt.

"How do I look Niall?"

"Very handsome now come on. They must be waiting on you." he put an around Harry's shoulder as they began to leave the room."By the way mate can I ask you something?"

"Go for it."

"You think you can get Alice's number for me?"

Harry all but nudged Niall in the rib as he chuckled.

"I'll see what I can do mate."

"Thanks bro."

"Don't mention it."

 

 

 

 

 

 

**************

Cameras surrounded him as various types of lighting equipment lit the set he was in.

Harry was seated in front of another chair where the interviewer was ment to sit. Only the person wasn't here yet.

Niall, Paul and Mr. O'Reilly stood behind the cameras and watched the curly haired boy as he prepared for the oncoming questions. Harry felt the nervous sensation fill the pit of his stomach.

Then a dark haired middle aged woman walked in dressed in a formal beige suit.

"Good morning Harry. I'm Rachel Walker. Your interviewer." she introduced as she shook Harry's hand.

"Good morning ma'am." he replied.

"Let's go ahead and take a seat."said the woman as they sat across each other."Well first of all congratulations. Not every celebrity has the courage to do what you did."

"Thank you ma'am."

"Oh please. Call me Rachel."

Then came the notification to begin with the interview. This was it.

"I have to ask, how have you been doing these couple of days since you've came out?"

"I've been doing......fairly well. Still new to the change but other than that good."

"That sounds great." she smiled."So the first question is, at what point in your life did you know that you were indeed gay or began to doubt your heterosexuality?"

"Ummm........"

Harry pondered the question. His doubts had began ever since he was a young lad. At the age of 15 he had began to doubt his attraction towards the opposite sex. He had dated a few girls before but he would always feel like there was something missing. He remembered about James Turner, one of the boys in his math class to whom he felt attracted towards. Harry would just disregard the feeling and would feel confused. It wasn't until after meeting Louis however, that he was able to end with the confusion and assert his sexuality.

"Well I'd say ever since I was younger. Around 15 or so."

"How did you figure it out?"

"Ummm I had dated a few girls before but I would always feel......how do you say? Empty? You know like, I wouldn't feel right. My attraction towards the girls wasn't really there."

"Did you ever come to feel uncomfortable with yourself because if it?"

Harry remembered the times when he would just go into his room and cry. Anne would be oblivious to her young son going through a personal crisis. He would feel bad for feeling an attraction towards boys and wrong.

"There came times when I did yeah. I would just cry because I wanted to be like the other boys you know. Be "normal". I even came to resent myself for it at a point."

"Did you ever have the courage to tell your mother or?"

"I was really scared. Completely terrified. I thought she'd be so disappointed at me so I kept it from her for some time. I mean its almost every mother's dream to receive grandchildren from there son and knowing that it wouldn't be happening from me was pretty upsetting."

"So your mother didn't find out until just this past Friday night?"

"No I told her a few years back. About a few months before the X Factor audition. I told her to keep it between us of course. Wasn't ready for everyone to know."

"Oh so she knew?"

"Yes."

"How did she take it when you told her?"

The night Anne had found out about Harry's sexuality was quite emotional for the two. She had entered Harry's room after hearing sobbing noises coming from there. She found her son crying into his pillow. Anne had noticed her son's change in demeanor. He would come home after school looking down and would just go to his room. That night, Harry told her everything. She hugged him and cried and asked him why he hadn't told her anything. Why he had stayed quiet without reaching out to her for help. She accepted her son and for that Harry was grateful. He of course, asked her to not say anything and that was a promise she kept until Harry himself was able to say it.

"She........she was emotional. She found me crying one night and told me to tell her what was happening and I just had to tell her. Keeping it inside wasn't helping me at all. So I told her and asked her to keep it between us and that's exactly what she did. Til this day I'm so grateful for having her in my life."

"Oh so this was no surprise to her then?"

"No it wasn't."

"And now that you mentioned the X Factor a few minutes ago I have to ask, why didn't you just come out at that time instead of waiting. Wouldn't it had been easier for you?"

"Well like I said. I wasn't ready for the complete coming out thing. And of course after being put in a group, I just stayed quiet about it."

"That's the next question. How is it for you now? With the lads. Do they feel okay with it? Are they supportive?"

"Oh definitely. I'm so fortunate to have them really. They accepted me. They still treat me like they always have. Nothing's changed."

_At least not everything_  he thought.

"Well that's wonderful to have supportive bandmates. Now what about after the post X Factor days? Explain the whole "serial dating" fiasco? What was that all about?"

Harry swore he felt his heart stop for a minute. His mind scattered to remember everything he had thought of the previous night to say for these questions.

"Well ummmm.....I guess that was my ummm......way of trying to fit in."

"What do you mean exactly?"

"Well you know erm......I didn't want people to start......questioning my sexuality so I began to date woman."

"Some say that your management set it all up in an effort to cover up the fact that you were gay. What is known as "bearding". Is this true?"

He wanted to scream "yes" but had to hold it in. The curly haired lad didn't even have to look at O'Reilly to know that the man was focused on him. He could feel the cold gaze from the head manager on his skin.

"No no no of course not."replied Harry, a bit too quickly."My management had no idea about my sexual orientation. It was all......me."

"So what you're saying is......you never were a "womanizer", as many people put it. Does this mean you used the ladies for an appearance?"

"I don't want to say I used them. I'd hate to say that because they are really wonderful women. I guess I was just.....too afraid to say anything and I.......so yeah umm, went about and did what I did."

"Did you ever go to the extent of sleeping with any of these woman?"

"No of course not. I would have never disrespected them like that."

"So the rumor about you sleeping with over a hundred women in one year is entirely false?"

"Definitely."

"Very well then. What about the comments. How have you been dealing with the criticism lately? With the media ranting on and on about you as well as the fans?"

"I've been coping. A lot of the fans have been very supportive and I thank them so much for that. The media of course, has joked with it but its nothing I can't deal with. But over all people have been quite nice about it."

"Speaking of fans I have to bring up the fact that many of them believe that you are in a relationship with your band mate, Louis Tomlinson, and now that you're out all of them are going insane with the question. Is "Larry Stylinson" real? So now I must ask the same question. Now that you are indeed out of the closet does this give any truth to the rumored romance?"

This was it. The moment Harry had been waiting for. The moment in which he would deny the true relationship between him and the older boy. Louis' words from last night flooded his mind. He had told him to not say anything. To deny it. It wasnt until a few minutes later that he noticed that he'd been silent.

"No. No. There is no relationship.....between me and-and Louis. It's all been a rumor. Just a rumor." he said. His voice threatened to give him away."All there's ever been is.......a bromance really."

"What about the tattoos? A lot of these fans claim them to link to those on Tomlinson's body."

This was the hard part. He had to sound convincing.

"Oh umm I see why they'd think so. The coincidence is quite daunting. But really there is no link."lied Harry. Every lie that came out if his mouth opened a new wound on his already battered heart."I have plenty of explanations for each and Louis has his but in no way are they related to one another."

"For example?"

"Ermm.....the birds. People think that the birds on my chest symbolize Louis and I. But the truth is.......that I just...... really liked the design. I had no idea that swallows were symbolic for life long mates when I had it done. Again. I just liked the design of it."

"What about the one on your band mates arm?"

"I'm not really sure about that to be honest."said Harry as his mind quickly darted to point out Zayn's tattoo as well."I mean Zayn has a tattoo of a bird on his back and there is no relationship other than brotherly friendship between us. So really.......i-its coincidental."

Harry prayed to any deity that could hear him and pleaded for the woman to not ask any more questions on the tattoos. He wouldn't be able to carry through without blowing the whole lie away.

"So to top it off, "Larry Stylinson" is not real correct? Well at least the romance."

"C-correct. All we've ever been is great friends." replied Harry."Just friends."

"Seems like that's the end of those rumors then." she said as she let out a breath.

Harry all but gave a meaningless smile. His eyes void of emotion.

"Let's talk about this tour. Do you think you coming out will affect the success?"

"Well hopefully not I mean,who I am shouldn't have to affect the tour in a bad way. I am aware that some parents might completely disagree with me now but I'm hoping that it all goes well in the end." 

 

"Well no doubt about that. Now that we've got all that out of the way, my final question is what are your plans for the future? Are you going to advocate for the LGBT community because there's been word about you doing work with these types of organizations."

"I would love to yeah. Working with them would be a great experience and knowing that I can give a voice to many that were like me and afraid to speak up would make me really happy."

"And I believe you would make a wonderful spokesperson."

"Thank you."

"Well that does it for us here. Thank you so much for your time Harry. We appreciate it."

"No no the pleasure was all mine."

And with that the cameras stopped recording. The interview was over.

As he dismissed himself from the set, his eyes met with Niall's who stood a few feet away behind the cameras. He told him all he needed to say with just one look.

He had done it.

The relationship was no more.

Any trace left of it was now gone.

"Larry Stylinson" had truly ended.

It was over.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"These oceans are far between_

_our hearts_

_The breathing has got too hard..."_

_-Asking Alexandria_

_"A Single Moment Of Sincerity"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty so that interview part about the tattoos was freaking hard xD they're soooo undeniable! oh and keep in mind that this fic was started before we knew of the "It Is What It Is" and butterfly tatt and any other new ones after those. 
> 
> Kudos/comments make me happy so if you'd like please do :) Thank youuuuuuuu


	8. Chapter Five

- **February**   **1st** -

 

 

Another year. Another age older.

Harry's birthday had arrived. Twenty never felt so...dull. So he thought. This year wouldn't feel very special.

Harry groaned as he began to get ready for the day. Birthday parties were the last thing he was in a mood for. Nick had been bothering him since the past week about throwing a party at his place. Harry had protested of course but then Niall had joined Grimmy's request and then Liam and Zayn as well. They said a party would do him good. Harry all but obliged. There was no escaping the event any way.

He reached for his cellphone atop of the nightstand accidentally knocking over the bottle of sleeping pills,which was now almost empty. None of his friends or family knew about his recent reliance on the pills. They aided him when it came to sleep, providing him with the much needed rest that he hadn't been able to fully achieve on his own ever since the unfortunate incident. But this was no addiction. Just a little help. No harm done. At least that's what he told himself.

Last week had been very tough. The interview had aired Monday morning, bringing in a revenue of top ratings for  _Daybreak_. The media had gone wild with the first hand information that had been fed to them. Fans all over the Web hadn't been so different either.

The majority of course, showed support while others had barely began to accept the fact that he was indeed gay. Apparently they had been hoping for it all to have been a huge lie. "Trolling" as they called it. But no. It was true.

What had called Harry's attention the most were the tweets from the so called "Larry shippers", the main supporters of Louis and Harry. When they were together at that. They had all been so devastated after hearing the denial come out of his mouth. Harry was aware of how passionately devoted many of them had been to the secret relationship. He had been on sites such as Tumblr before and had seen with how much love they "shipped" the relationship. Breaking their hearts and with it, their hope, had been a terrible action by his part. Something he fervently wished to take back. Spill the truth. Let them know that they had been right the whole time. But his mouthed was sealed.

Days had been spent mostly inside his home with Niall coming over regularly to drag him out with the boys. Nights had been spent crying. Reliving the past memories. And swallowing sleeping pills. How long he would keep doing the same he did not know.

He checked his notifications. A few text messages from Anne, the lads, Lou Teasedale, other friends and Nick wishing him a happy birthday. No Louis. No surprise there.

His fingers glided across the keyboard ad he began to type a message on Twitter.

 

 

 

 

_Harry Styles@Harry_Styles_

_20_.  _I feeeeel_......... _different_.

 

 

 

 

He then clicked the send button and in no time thousands of retweets and menntions had been made. He was skimming over them when he was interrupted by a call from his mother.

"Hello?"

"Happy birthday baby! How's my grown up man doing? Feeling twenty yet?" came the voice of his ecstatic mother.

"Hey mom thank you. I'm feeling okay I guess. Just twenty."

"Oh don't worry son. You're still my little baby Harry. Always will be."

"Of course mom." chuckled Harry.

"So are you doing anything today honey? Any birthday party?"

"Hmmm well Nick and the boys want to throw me one but I don't know. I don't really feel like it."

"Oh come on Harry. You're 20! Finally a grown man. Celebrate honey."

"I guess I am anyway. But I told them it would just have to be us. No big bash. Don't want anything huge."

"Well I don't know son. With Nick nothing is exactly small. But go ahead and celebrate baby."she said."I won't be able to make it to London honey. I've been really busy back here at home. Sorry love."

"S'okay mom I understand."

"Awwww honey I hate not being able to be there. But I tell you what. You will be coming over here before you head off to this tour you and the lads will be on. I'll even pick you up. Sound good?"

"Sounds good mom. Thank you."

"Alright love. I have to go now okay? Happy birthday baby. I love you so much. Take care. And don't party too hard."

"Ha okay mom. Thank you. Love you too. Bye."

"Bye honey."

He couldn't help but smile a little. His mother always found a way to warm him up. Perhaps spending some time with her in Cheshire would do him some good. He needed a little vacation after all.

He began to search for what to wear when yet another call came in. Niall.

"Hiiii."

"Harreh!! Happy birthday bro! You are now a man. Welcome to the club mate!"

"Thanks Ni. I guess I'm finally in."

"How ya feelin?"

"Well.....older."

"Ha! Tell me about it. I know how you feel. Hit twenty before ya. But any ways I'll be headin over to yours in the afternoon. Get ready to party!"

"I'll be waiting here. And no Ni. No party like that either. Not what you have in mind."

"Oh don't be a party pooper mate. Yer finally twenty. Live it up!"

"I will. Just not recklessly."

"Oh wait til I come over with the boys."said Niall. Harry could almost hear the mischief in his voice." Anyway I'll be getting off now. Gotta go pick up Ali."

"Who?"

"Alice!"

"Oh right! I forgot about the nickname you gave her. You're actually serious about her mate? Still trying to woo her in?"

Ever since Harry had managed to get Alice's number back at the  _Daybreak_ studios, Niall had began taking her out. Turns out Harry had been quite right about her age. The red auburn haired girl was twenty. The pair were at the friendship level at the moment. Just getting to know one another. Apparently Alice seemed to be playing hard to get, or so Niall assumed. She wasn't like any other girl. Had she been any other one she would've probably already slept with him. But not her. She had self respect. That's what Niall confessed to loving about her.

"Just you wait and see mate. I'll get her. She won't be able to resist my charm."

"Haha! Oh yes! Your lucky charm. Okay mate. Sure."

"You'll see Styles. By the way I took the liberty t invite her t the party okay?"

"Of course Ni. I'd love to see her again."

"Alrighty then. Gotta go. See ya in a couple hours."

"Okay Ni. I still gotta shower and get ready any ways."

"Yeah you do that ya stinky bastard. Bye Harreh."

"Bye Niall."

He ended the call and proceeded to shower and get dressed.

He couldn't help but feel a gnawing sensation in the pit of his stomach. This day seemed like it would be......interesting.

 

 

 

 

************************** 

Most of his morning had been spent on cleaning the house. Or at least attempting to. Not that is was needed much. It was more of a way for him to keep his mind busy. Away from certain thoughts.

It was well past noon and the sun had already began to set. Niall and Alice would be here any minute. Grimmy not too far behind. Liam and Zayn said they'd come as well. Lou and Tom wouldn't be able to make it unfortunately. No word about Louis. As expected. Harry hoped he did not in the end. He didn't know how he would react to seeing the the other lad after what had happened. If hearing him through the phone call had been hard he didn't want to begin thinking about what seeing him would be like.

As he sat on his couch surfing through random television channels, he was startled by the sound of knocking coming from the front door. Not to mention a loud blonde hollering from outside. Harry chuckled lightly as he got up to let his guests in.

"Oh shut up Ni before the neighbors start complaining." joked Harry as he opened the door.

"So what! Let them know that its my best mate's birthday! C'mere bro!"shouted Niall as he tossed himself towards Harry.

Harry hugged his friend and noticed Alice standing behind them smiling at the pair's embrace. She was dressed in blue jeans, blue plaid flannel, a black  _The Strokes_  t shirt, high top black converse and blue beanie with her lingering auburn curls hanging down loose. She could've very well been the female equivalent of Harry.

"Hi Alice. I missed you." said Harry as he let go off Niall to hug the girl.

"Hello Harry. Same here. Happy birthday!" she replied returning the hug."I didn't know that I would be coming here to celebrate. A certain someone didn't tell me until last minute so I came so underdressed. I feel funny."

"Oh Niall. That knucklehead. Don't worry. You look great. It's just a small party."

"Small party huh? * _cough_ *Sure." said the Niall sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean Ni?"

"Oh nothing much. Just-nevermind mate."

"You better not have planned anything stupid Niall or I will-"

"Oh calm yer nips Harreh. Yer twenty now. Learn how t live it-"

"Just because he's an age older does not mean he has to be any more reckless Mr.Horan." interrupted Alice.

"What she said Ni."

"Oh come on. You lot can't be coming against me. Ali you traitor." complained Niall as he gave his best pouting face to the hazel eyed girl.

"Sorry Niall but I'm on the side of maturity here." chuckled Alice.

"Oh yeah. 'I'm on the side of maturity'. Of course honey."mocked Niall."Excuse me guys but I have to go take a massive shit."

"Language Niall."warned Alice.

"Bite me babe." said Niall as he left Alice and Harry behind leaving with the last word.

"Oh that Niall I tell ya. Known him for over three years now and still hasn't matured one bit." stated Harry as he let Alice into the house.

"Maybe that's why the ladies are crazy for him. He never grows up."

"Well right now he's only got one little lady in his mind and I wonder what she thinks about him." replied Harry as he noticed a blush cover Alice's face.

"Well ummmmm."she began as she blushed harder."She thinks he's a very great guy who has an amazing sense of humor and a genuine caring spirit."

"Same here." smiled Harry."Is she with him yet?"

"Oh no. Ummm no. She uh. She's only known him for a week. She's not just going to go about and let herself be taken away by his Irish "charm" so quickly."

"Well she's got that right. I love her way of thinking."

"She likes to think so too."agreed Alice."Well enough about her. Let's talk about you Harold. How have you been?"

"I've been....hanging in there. Nothing much."

"How have the fangirls been to you?"

"Quite good actually. Still a few of 'em who can't seem to understand."

"Oh that lot. They'll learn to get over it soon enough. You'll see. It'll be old news in no time."

"Sure hope so."

The two had continued to talk when a knock came from the door.

"Well well. I wonder who that might be."said Harry as he stood up to open the door.

His right hand twisted the knob opening the door and was met by a large group which looked more like a large crowd. He noticed a few familiar faces among them. Some of Nick's friends from the  _Breakfast_   _Show_  were here. 

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY!" came the screeching sound of the crowd which was spearheaded by none other than Nick, with Zayn and Liam at his side.

"Hey! Thanks pals! But um I don-"

"Oh move out the way mate. We're loaded with booze here. Come on people!"said Grimmy as he let the crowd in.

The group began to pour into the house, many carrying food, gifts and twelve packs of beer and Harry swore he saw a barrel being brought in.

"Happy birthday bro." said Zayn as he hugged Harry.

"Yeah. Happy birthday Harry. You're getting old mate." added Liam as he gave Harry a hug as well.

"Thanks guys. But umm I thought this would be a small party so why are there so-"

"That is my doing Styles." interrupted Nick."Happy birthday mate."

Of course thought Harry. Never trust Grimmy when he organizes anything at all.

"Thanks Nick. You said this would be a small birthday party."

"And I may have let it slip out sorry Harry. But come on. Tonight is about you and I shall be your dj. Don't worry I'll make sure this lot doesn't ruin your place much."he finished as he began to set up the gear for the dj along with a few lights for the show.

"Ugh. I really don't want to do this." whined Harry. Getting drunk didn't seem very appealing at the moment.

"Well enjoy it bro!"shouted Niall,who had came back from using the restroom."Hey Z. Hey Li."

"Hi Nialler."greeted Liam."I suppose you didn't let Harry know about people coming over?"

"You bastard Ni. You had it all planned out with Nick didn't ya?" said Harry as he punched Niall's right arm.

"Ouch! Cool it Harreh. Yes I'm guilty. But only guilty of making you enjoy your birthday bash."

"I'm not getting wasted again. Not after last time."

"Oh but you'll see. Wait unti-"

"If Harry wants to stay sober then he will Niall."interrupted Alice as she walked towards the boys."Hello Liam. Hello Zayn."

"Hey Ali." greeted Liam

"Hello Alice." greeted Zayn, giving her a hug.

"Oh don't be such a party pooper hon. He needs t have fun."whined Niall.

"It's not being a "party pooper" Niall. It's being responsible. Harry will have fun. He doesn't need to be drunk for that."

"Thank you Alice. Someone understands me."smiled Harry as loud club music began to fill the house.

"Oh there we go! Let's get this party started!"shouted Niall as the crowd cheered with enthusiasm."Come on Harry! Just get a drink mate. At least one. And Ali. You will be dancing with me. I won't take no for an answer so don't think about it."

"Fine Ni. Just one."complied Harry as he catched the bottle that Zayn had handed him."Gonna dance Alice?"

"Well might as well. This child won't take no for an answer."she joked."But no drinking for me. No sir."

"Good choice."said Liam."Just don't get annoyed by Nialler. He can get very loud and stupid when he's drunk."

"Oh don't worry. I'll try to manage and keep him from too much drinking." she laughed as she walked towards Niall in the living room, which had already been turned into a dance floor.

"As for us. We will have our fun as well." said Zayn as he handed a bottle to Liam.

The three opened their bottles and tapped there bottles against each other in a toast.

"Cheers bros."

As he sipped a drink from his bottle, Harry could only think about one thing. Did Louis remember about his birthday? Did he care?

 

 

 

 

 

**************************** 

It was past 9:00 p.m. The party kept going at full scale. Quite a few more people had arrived and what had been hoped to be a small party was now one big celebration.

Zayn was quite tipsy and Liam had managed to still stay fully sober. At least for now. Niall was certainly drunk but not as much as he was in his full drunk mode. Poor Alice had been keeping up with the Irish lad on the dance floor, making constant trips from the kitchen and back to get the pair slices from the many pizza boxes that had been delivered to the party.

"Harreh! Come dance with us bro!"hollered Niall.

"No thanks!"

"Oh come on Styles! Help me out here!" added Alice

"Only if Zayn and Liam go in."

"I'm in!"shouted Zayn."Come on Li."

"Oh okay. Fine mate."complied a whining Liam."Let's go Harry."

The three boys entered the dance floor. The vibration of the music tingled Harry's throat as he joined Alice and Niall.

"Looks like the birthday boy has entered the dance floor! Watch out!"announced Nick through the microphones at his post, earning a loud cheer from the people in the room.

"I suck at this!"shouted Harry over the loud music.

"Don't worry! So do I! But look at Niall!"

Harry looked over to the blonde. Niall was nothing more but a half drunk fool swinging his arms in the air and shaking his bottom everywhere.

"What is he doing?" laughed Harry.

"I don't know but it makes me feel better about myself!" laughed Alice.

"Hey Harreh! Hey Harreh! I-I forgot to tell ya mate."muttered Zayn.

"Tell me what Zayn?"

"That-that Louis...."

Harry's eyes widened at the mention of Louis.

"What about him Zayn?"

"He- he was gonna......he was gonnadropbytotheparty."

"What?!"

"He was going to stop by for a bit."said Liam as he spoke more clearly for Zayn.

"What?! What do you mean? He can't Li! I can't see him! Not right now!"

"Calm down mate. Don't start to panic now. We can't have you getting worked up on your birthday. He has to be here at least for a bit to not raise suspicion about his sudden distance from you since you came out. Just forget about......"

"What Li? Liam?" asked Harry. He noticed Liam's eyes focusing on the front entrance. Harry turned to look at what he was staring at. Big mistake.

There he was. Standing at the front door.

Louis Tomlinson.

Harry fought the urge to run and hide. So many emotions struck him like a tidal wave in that moment.

He stood there at the entrance wearing a black v neck t shirt, his denim sweater, black jeans and his sneakers. Hair tousled in a quiff and stubble adorning his face. Harry couldn't help but think about how fit he looked. So much had happened between them but Harry's attraction and affection towards the other lad still clung to his heart.

But all emotion left his face as soon as he caught a glimpse of the person standing next to him.

Eleanor Calder.

Harry's heart began to beat at an insane speed. He couldn't believe that Louis would have had the nerve of coming to his place with her at his side. That was a low blow.

"Harry? Harry? Are you okay? Harry?" asked a concerned Alice as soon as she had noticed the change in Harry's demeanor.

"I-I-I-I gotta go. I gotta go to the bathroom."he replied quickly as he began to hide within the crowd to make his way without being noticed by Louis. Tears began to fall down his face as he rushed towards the stairs. He hoped no one had noticed.

He made his way towards the bathroom in his bedroom and slammed the door shut. His breath began to come in and out at a fast speed. He was angry. Angry at Louis for daring to show up with her. How could he do that to him? And on his birthday at that! He struggled to keep his anger at bay as he leaned on the sink for support. His eyes looked towards the mirror and his reflection was gone in the blink of an eye as his right fist struck the glass.

Tears fell as he sank towards the floor with his back to the wall. His knuckles bloodied from the broken glass that had splintered his skin.

His night couldn't have gotten any worse.

 

 

 

*************************

**-NIALL**   **POV-**

 

Niall's body moved towards the rythm of the beat blasting from the speakers in the room. He wasn't fully drunk yet. The night was still young.

He glanced around the dance floor and noticed that Harry was no longer with them.

"Hey Ali!" he said shouted due to the loud music.

"Yeah!" responded the girl.

"Where's Harry?"he asked as he neared Alice's ear for better hearing.

"He said he was going to the bathroom."she replied."He didn't look very well. Hey isn't that one of your mates? Louis?" she asked as she signaled towards the entrance.

Niall looked towards where Alice had pointed. There he was. Louis. With none other than Eleanor at his side. He had brought the girl to Harry's birthday party. That shameless bastard thought Niall. 

Liam was already there giving the two a proper greeting.

"Hey Niall? Are you okay? Niall?" asked Alice as she noticed Niall's eyes turn cold and the hard grip he held his bottle with.

"Oh I'm alright babe. Just thinkin. I'm gonna go over there and welcome my mate."

"Want me to go get Harry? I'm worried about him."

"Y-Yeah you do that honey. I'll be down here." he said as he watched his crush walk out of the room and up the stairs towards Harry's room.

"Hey Ni! Where-where everybodygotomate?" asked Zayn.

"They're around. Look who's here Z."

The older boy turned and saw that Louis had arrived.

"Heeyyy! It's Lou! Hey Louis!" he shouted as he began to stumble toward his friend,Niall right on his heels.

Niall's face was trained on Louis'. His right hand balled into a fist as he took the last sip of his fourth bottle while making his way towards Louis.

"Hey Louis!"greeted Zayn as he threw himself at Louis in a hug."You made it!"

"Hey bro. Just stopping by for a bit."replied the oldest lad. His voice seemed a bit off put."Hey Ni."

"Hello to you too Louis."replied Niall, less than enthusiastic. He completely ignored Eleanor's presence."What brings you here?"

"Well ummm. It  _is_  a friend's birthday."

"Oh yes. A  _friend_. Of course." replie d Niall. His sarcasm literally spilling from his mouth.

"Niall." warned Liam.

"It's all good Li. Just making conversation. Hey Tommo come with me yeah? Gotta get a fresh beer. Come get one too."

"Ummmm okay." agreed Louis,a bit uncertain."Hey El I'll be back okay?"

"Fine babe. Don't take too long."replied the girl as she gave him a small peck on the cheek. Niall was already more than annoyed.

They began to make their way through the crowd and halls as they made it towards the empty kitchen. Niall was grateful for that. He didn't want anyone to hear what was about to happen.

As soon as he had been sure that no one was around Niall quickly turned and grabbed Louis by the shoulders and pinned him towards the nearby wall.

"What the fuck is your problem Tomlinson?!"

"Woah! What the fuck is wrong with you mate?!"

"Why are you here?! Why did you bring the fucking beard over?! You've done enough shit t Harry! Who the fuck do you think you are?!"

"What?! I'm here because Liam told me to come and who I come with is none of your fucking business!"

"The hell it is! You can't be showing up here with her. Much less on Harry's birthday!"

"She's my girlfriend Horan!"

"Bullshit! I don't see how Harry could've been with you in the first place! You didn't deserve him! I should fucking break your nose for hurting him!"

"Do it Niall! Fucking do it!"

"You fucking asked for i-"

"Hey! Hey! Hey! What the hell is going on here?!" shouted Liam as he rushed into the kitchen attempting to get Niall to let go off Louis.

"Nothing Li. I was just gonna beat the shit out of this bastard 's all" said Niall menacingly as he shoved Louis after releasing his grip.

"I want to see you do it Nialler." challenged Louis as he steadied his breath.

"No one is going to be hitting anyone. What the hell is wrong with you two?"asked Liam as he looked between his friends in awe.

"He fucking deserves it." huffed Niall.

"If that's what you think mate then I guess I do." said Louis."You know what? Fuck this shit. I'm out of here."

"Yeah. Do that. Run like the little bitc-"

"Stop that Niall!"warned Liam."Louis you can't go mate. Just a few minutes. We don't want anybody asking questions. Please Louis. Just for a bit."

Louis hesitated as he pondered about whether to stay or not. 

"Ugh fine.  _Fine_  Liam. Just for a few. I'll be with El if you need me." he complied, giving a long look at Niall and with that he was gone from the kitchen.

"What the hell Niall? What was all that about?" scolded Liam as he turned his full attention towards the blonde.

"Nothing Liam. He just got me pissed showing up like nothing happened. With that girl!"

"I understand Nialler but that doesn't give you the right to try and beat the hell out of Louis. He's our friend! Our brother!"

"He deserves it Liam. He fucking hurt Harry. And slapped him last week to top that off." fumed the blue eyed boy.

"Look Ni I don't think what he did was right either. But that's his and Harry's business. You can't be getting involved in their affairs mate."

"Well fucking sue me for looking after my friend Li." responded Niall as he grabbed two cold beer bottles from the refrigerator and began to walk out of the kitchen.

He needed to cool off before he did something to a certain someone. Getting drunk seemed like the reasonable thing to do to get his mind away from the less then friendly thoughts that filled it at the moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

************************* 

**-HARRY POV-**

 

"Harry? Harry? You in here?" came the light  voice of the auburn haired girl who had entered his room.

Harry panicked and began to wash away the drying blood that was smeared across his hands and the sink.

"Y-yeah I'll be right out." he said hesitantly as he tried to clean the blood.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah."

"You don't sound well. Please open the door Harry."

Harry took in a few deep breaths before unlocking the door. 

Alice's eyes widened in shock as the broken mirror and Harry's injured hand came into view.

"Oh my goodness Harry?! Are you okay?! What happened?!" she asked as she immediately took a hold of Harry's wrist and lifted his hand to inspect the damage.

"N-nothing I just had an accident thats all."

"Well that was must've been  _some_  accident. You're lucky the glass didn't cut deep enough. Hold up." she said as she took a handful of her flannel and began to tear a strip of it.

"No no no no what are you doing? Don't rip you're clothes." protested Harry.

"Oh shut it Harold. I have plenty of these back home. This one is not that new any way." she replied as she began to wrap the piece of cloth around Harry's wounded hand.

"Why are you doing this for me?"

"Because you are my friend Harry. Friends do this for one another. I care for you Styles."

"Thank you Alice. Really. Thank you."

"You're very welcome Harry." she said, giving him a warm smile."Now come on. Let's get back to your party."

"I don't want to Alice. I'm not feeling very well."

"Nonsense. Just come down for a bit please. Hang out with Niall and me. Although he's probably already past drunk. We don't even have to dance. Come on."

Harry didn't want to go back downstairs. Louis was most likely still there and he didn't want to face him. He would surely break in front of everyone.

"I don't know Ali."

"Pleeeeeeeease?"

He tried his best to deny the girl's plead but figured there was no use in doing so. Liam would probably come and drag him downstairs. Or Nick.

"Okay fine. But can we please stay somewhere away from people?"

"Of course. I think I saw one of your couches huddled in a corner. Let's go." she said as she took Harry's uninjured hand and began to make their way downstairs.

The lad's nerves began to kick in once more. He was going to see Louis again. With Eleanor.

Waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs was Grimmy. The look in his face told Harry that he already knew why Harry had left the room.

"Hey Harry. Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Go on ahead with Niall Alice. I'll be there in a minute." said Harry as he stopped to talk with Nick.

"Okay then. Bye guys." she said as she left to find Niall.

"So I guess you saw the lad?"

"Y-yeah."

"And the beard. Ha! He's got some bloody nerves doing that. You alright mate?"

"I'll survive Nick. Hopefully."

"Don't think about it too much Harry. Ignore him. What happened to your hand?"

"I uh.....had an accident upstairs."

"Hmmmmm. Yes. Accident. Just don't hurt yourself Harry. It's not worth it. Now come on. No need to stop the party." said Nick as he put his arms around Harry's shoulders.

Harry tried to stop his eyes from traveling towards where Louis,Eleanor,Zayn and Liam were by the front door but was unable to.

Just as he was about to look away, his eyes made contact with the blue ones that he had not seen in a while. Blue eyes that he had last seen so broken.

Harry swore he had stopped breathing. Everything else in the room was forgottened. The music. The guests. His friends. Grimmy's arm around him. All he could see was Louis.

Louis' eyes were void of emotion. They seemed....dead. Harry couldn't tell whether the other lad could feel what he was feeling. Sadness. Emptiness. Wanting to run away from everyone and everything.

"Harry. Harry."came the voice of Grimmy."Don't look at 'im mate. Just keep your eyes away. We can't have you tearing up now. People will start wondering."

Harry struggled to take his eyes off of Louis. It felt as if there were some sort of pull that prevented him from from tearing his sight from the other.

With the small amount of will he could muster, he was finally able to take his sight off of Louis as Nick lead him through the room and towards Niall and Alice.

"Go ahead. Hang with them. Don't let Tomlinson get to ya mate."said Nick."I'll be at my post if you need me. And I may or may not have a surprise for you."

"Wait what are you talking about Nick?" asked Harry immediately after hearing the coy tone in Nick's voice. What had he planned?

"Sorry mate! I can't hear you!" shouted the older man over the music as he left Harry.

"Hey Harry. Come sit with us." came the voice of Alice. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah I'm fine."

"Oi! Here. Have a beer Harreh." as spoke Niall, extending a bottle to Harry which be took gratefully.

He took a seat in between the pair,taking a sip from the drink.

"Don't let 'im fuck it up for you bro." whispered Niall.

"It's alright Ni. I'll get through it."he replied whispering.

"What are you two going on about over there? I feel left out."interrupted Alice. The girl was completely oblivious to the entire situation.

"Nothin Ali. Just talking bout how perfect you are." replied Niall, giving a wink.

"Oh stop it Horan. You've got the drinks speaking for you now." she laughed."Harry aren't you gonna go say hello to Louis?"

"I um. I just umm-"

"He already did babe." interrupted Niall. Harry's distraught voice had practically begged  for help.

"Oh okay."

"Hey umm. Guys? Nick mentioned something about a surprise. Do you know what he was talking about?" questioned Harry as he noticed a small smirk cross Niall's face. "What is it Ni?"

"Erm- I have no idea about what you're talkin bout bro."

"Niall I can see it in your face. Don't lie. Do you know Alice?"

"I don't know what to tell you Harry. I'm lost on all this."she replied."Niall what do you know you little liar?"

"Hey now. Don't go against me again." he laughed.

The three continued in there bickering when the music came to an abrupt stop with whines from the dancing people coming right after.

"Alright alright. Listen up everybody!"spoke Grimmy through a mic."I think its time for the birthday boy-or should I say birthday man- to have his cake so if you could please disperse from the dance floor and make room for Harry. And someone please bring a chair! Everybody gather round!"

The guests began to move out of the way and in no time a circle had been formed in the middle.

"Go on mate. Sit in the middle."said Niall as he pushed Harry off the couch.

"I don't wanna." he whined.

"Go Harry. Come on birthday boy!" said Alice.

"Oh alright you." complied Harry as he made his way towards the single chair in the room, the crowd cheering for him as he went about.

Unbeknownst to Harry, a pair of blue eyes behind the guests were focused on him.

The curly haired lad made sure to remember not to make eye contact with Louis. He couldn't give himself away while being surrounded by many. He tried his best to keep his eyes from glancing towards the back.

"Alright. Now that you're settled in we can start the little seren-" began Nick but before he could finish a knock had came from the door."Oh darn. Can somebody get the door?"

Harry eyed the entrance as Liam opened the door,all while avoiding Louis.As hard as that was.

"Yes? May I help you sir?" came Liam's voice.

"Good evening young man. Is this the residence of Mr. Harry Styles?" replied a deep voice from outside.

"Ummmm yeah is there a problem officer?"

Officer? What was a police man doing here? Had something happened? Harry began to feel a little uneasy.

"We received a number of calls complaining about all the noisy disturbance. I'm going to have to see the owner of this place." replied the stranger as he let himself in leaving a dumbfounded Liam at the door.

The police officer came into view. He was an older man. Somewhere around his late 20's guessed Harry. Built very well he could tell. Muscle outlines seeping through his uniform. Facial structure firm and defined with stubble on it. Bronzed skin on him. His caramel colored eyes landed on Harry as he made his way towards him.

"Are you Harry Styles young man?" asked the man.

"Ummmm yes sir I am. Is there a problem?"

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to turn it down before things get serious."

"I'm sorry?"

"Are you not listening to what I'm saying lad?" came the husky voice. Harry was getting worried now.

"No I just don't understand what's going on."

The man then took off his hat, revealing a set of thick tousled dark hair. His hands traveled towards his shirt and began to let the buttons loose.

"Well then I guess I'm gonna have to freshen up your mind to help you understand the situation then mate." answered the stranger with a smirk plastered on his face. His shirt was already gone. Muscled torso exposed.

"Oh no." Harry whispered. He knew where this was leading. This man was no actual police officer. This man was a stripper. "Grimmy!" yelled Harry. A loud laugh coming from his older friend.

"Turn it up!" shouted the stripper as he grabbed his trousers and in a swift move they were off. Only his underwear clung to his body.

Loud beating music filled the room as the whole room went wild. Alice had taken her phone out and began recording everything as she tried to keep it steady but her laughter was making it hard and Niall was already on the ground laughing uncontrollably.

Harry didn't know what to do other than put his hands on his face and turn red. There was a man literally humping him and shaking his bottom and he felt so embarrassed. He had completely forgotten about Louis.

Of course.

Louis was still in the room. Guilt came over Harry as he thought about him. It felt wrong having something like this happen while the other lad was there. Harry questioned why he was feeling such things. What the hell? Louis was the one here with Eleanor yet Harry was the one feeling guilty for having a stripper dancing for him? How did that work? He shouldn't had been the one feeling bad. Louis should've. But he did. And he couldn't help it. It just felt wrong.

He remained still for the remainder of the session. Putting up a smile for everyone. Letting them know that he was enjoying himself.

Though deep down he knew it was fake.

 

 

 

 

*****************************

**-LOUIS**   **POV-**

Harry had been looking beautiful tonight. As always. Louis' heart had ached so badly after he had made contact with the boy. Harry's eyes had seemed so broken. Not like before. They used to be so alive and shining. Louis had wanted to leave. Just run away. Forget that he had played a huge role in the loss of the light  that would reside in Harry's eyes. Yet here he was. In the younger boy's home with none other than Eleanor.

The thing was that Louis was confused and undecided when it came to the girl. He had grown to like her since the day they had first went public. She had a genuine personality for the most part and was quite sweet. But she was no Harry. No one could compare to him. When Harry had begged him to go public with him it had stunned Louis. He had been struggling with his sexual identity for the longest. His former relationship with Harry had certaintly proved he was anything but heterosexual. He just didn't want to admit it. His sexuality was just something that he felt  uncomfortable with and dismissed frequently. He was with Eeanor. He  _had a_  girlfriend. He wasn't gay. So he told himself.

Now he stood here. Witnessing a man dancing shamelessly and nearly nude in front of Harry. He felt his blood boil with jealousy. His gaze hardening as he glanced at a smiling Harry at the center of the room.  _How dare_   _he_ thought Louis. How could he be enjoying himself like that in front of him?  _Why shouldn't_   _he_  said the voice within his head.  _He's_   _not_   _with_   _you_   _anymore. Let him be._ Louis then willed his conscious to cease. He knew it was right but he still felt anger at the scene being displayed before him. His possessiveness for Harry was very much still within him. Nick fucking Grimshaw must've been the one behind this. That son of a bitch. The hand which held his beer bottle was getting quite the grip on the glass it could've shattered. Liam had noticed. 

"Alright there Lou?" asked Liam. "You seem very uneasy right now. You feeling well?"

"I'm alright mate its just.... probably the drink" 

Liam narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He wasn't naive.

"Mmmhmmm." 

Louis just ignored the look and glanced back at the spectacle. Even if he did hate what he was seeing. He just wanted to run over there and push the man to ground. Give him a good punch or two. Get him off of Harry. Louis then watched furiously as the stranger got on top of Harry, grabbing the boy's hands and having them run over his body. All while having his crotch thrusting forward.

And that was it. Louis had seen enough.

"El we gotta go." he said suddenly, his voice harsh and stern.

"What? How come? We jus-" 

"I said we have to go."

"Woah easy there Louis." interrupted Liam "What's with the rush?"

"Nothing Li  I just remembered that El and I had a reservation for a restaurant tonight"

Louis wasn't lying about that. The pair did have dinner reserved. Louis may have just  done it with a purpose though. He knew it was Harry's birthday (he'd never forget that) he just didn't want to spend the day with guilt on his mind. He wanted to keep himself distracted. Things hadn't been easy on him either. Drinking had become quite a habit ever since the break up. Just numbing the pain he'd say. 

"But I thought that wasn't until an hour from now." responded Eleanor.

"I know but we better get going early. That restaurant gets packed." 

"Louuuiiis ya just got here m-mate." mumbled Zayn. He was a goner. "Staaaay for Harryyy Lou!"

"I-I have to go Zayn." 

Louis then swallowed down the whole beer in an instant. He needed some relief. Grabbing Eleanor's hand, he started making his way out the door. But not before having Liam speed walk towards him.

"Louis please stay. Just for a few more minutes. Harry hasn't even had his cake yet."pleaded Liam.

Sadness took a strong hold of Louis' heart. He had missed watching Harry blow out the candles last year only to have to miss it again this year. And on terrible circumstances this time. Tears began to rim the edges of his eyes. He couldn't cry. Not here.

"Liam I  _have_  to go." he retorted adding emphasis on his need to leave. _  
_

Liam could see the pain behind the blue eyes. Louis was about to break.

"Fine Lou. Go mate." said Liam. He moved forward and grabbed Louis, giving him a tight hug and whispering to his ear. "Don't do anything stupid." 

"Don't worry about me Li."replied the other, returning the tight embrace and then releasing himself.

"Eyyy Lou wh-where's my hug?" hollered Zayn as he threw himself forward and wrapping his arms around Louis. He was oblivious to the situation at the moment.

Louis gave a small weak chuckle and hugged his friend back.

"Love ya Louu" mumbled the drunk lad." And-and so does Harryyyy."

Louis had tried to keep the tears from falling but failed after one had slipped down. He quickly moved to wipe it away and detached himself from Zayn, patting the lad's back.

"Alright guys. Now I've really got to get going." he repeated as he once again made his way out. Eleanor was already waiting outside. 

"Okay then Lou. Take care bro." 

"Yeeeaaah Louis take care. W-we love ya."

"Love you too mates." replied Louis as he glanced back at where Harry was one last time. "Tell....tell him happy birthday for me yeah?" 

"Will do." assured Liam.

"Bye boys." he said as he began leaving the place.

"Bye Lou." replied both Zayn and Liam simultaneously.

 

As he left there was only one thing on Louis' mind.

Harry.

He was leaving him again.

What he didn't notice was Harry looking towards him as he left the house, closing the door behind him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

************************************

- **HARRY**   **POV** -

Everyone was mostly gone by now. Liam had to drive Zayn home because he was way too drunk to make it on his own. Only Grimmy, Alice and Niall were left now.

"Enjoy the bash Harry?" asked Nick as he stood with Harry at the front doorsteps.

"It was fun Nick. Thank you so much. Although that stripper was very unecessary." 

"Oh come on Harry!" laughed Nick,"The lad was fit! You know you enjoyed. Besides it was my way of repaying you after the lady stripper from last year."

"Oh god." chuckled Harry. Last year had been so akward with that stripper."Don't remind me. But anyway thank you so much really." 

"Any time young Harold." replied Grimmy with a smile on his face."So I'll be on my way now.  _Breakfast_   _Show_  in the mornin. Can't be late. C'mere mate." he said and pulled Harry in for a tight hug. "Hang on in there mate. You'll make it through." 

Harry hugged Nick back strongly. He truly appreciated his friend and the things he'd do to put a smile on his face.

"Thank you for everything," said Harry. He didn't remember when he had started crying."I'm glad to have met you." 

"And so am I Styles." replied the other." Now stop it mate before I start getting all bloody emotional and end up looking like shit in the mornin. Not this gorgeous face." he laughed wiping the corner of his eyes as he and Harry let go off one another. " Now what are you gonna do H? Before the tour starts."

"Gonna be heading to my mums for a little vacation. She wants to see me and I wanna get away for some time. Ya know. Try and get my mind off of stuff and all." 

"Thats good Harry. You really do need a vacation. Just keep in touch with me lad." 

"Of course. You can count on it."

"Well then I best be on me way now. Don't want to keep you up either."

"Alright Nick. Again thank you for all this."

"Oh don't mention it. Just get me something good on my birthday."joked the older man." Goodbye Harold." 

"Bye Grimmy." replied the youngest of the two as he watched the other get into his vehicle and begin to leave.

Just as he had opened the door Harry was met by Alice as she struggled to hold a stumbling drunk Niall up.

"This boy. Now I understand what Liam meant when he spoke about Niall in his full drunk mode. He's one hell of a hassle!" she shouted.

"But-but ya love meeeeeeeeee Aliiiiii" said Niall in a sing song voice.

"Oh shut it you. I should've never let you drink too much. You are worse than a child." she scolded. Harry could only chuckle at the two.

"Here let me help Alice" offered Harry.

"Thank you so much Harry you angel. This little demon is trouble."

He then took Niall and wrapped the blonde's arm around him as they made their way out the door.

"Harreeeeeh. Harreeeeeeeeh," whined Niall.

"Yes Ni what is it?"

"A-A-Ali is mad at meeee she doesnt love meeeeee anymore t-tell her t love me Harreeeeeh." cried Niall. This boy was seriously piss drunk.

"Oh my god Horan are you serious?" laughed Alice as she put her head down into her hands. 

"Ha-Harreh she's laffin at me mate. Tell'er t stop! Tell'er t love meeeeeeee!"  

"Well Ali drunk Niall isn't gonna stop anytime soon unless you say it."

The poor girl could only shake her head as she gave out a soft laugh.

"Oh gosh Harry what have I gotten myself into?" 

"Say it! Say it! S-Say it!" chanted Niall.

"Shhhhh! You're going to wake up the whole neighborhood and then there will be a real cop at Harry's house." 

"Den just say it Aliiiiii! Say ya l-love me and that yer  not m-mad at meee." 

"Fiiiine." she huffed in defeat." I like you a lot Niall James Horan and no I'm not mad at you just a tad bit annoyed by your childish antiques." 

" Whaaaaaaaaa? Wha did sh-she say Harreh?" 

Harry could only laugh and look at Alice who was once again shaking her head and laughing.

"She said she loved you Ni and that you're the best." lied Harry only to shut the drunk boy up.

"Yaaaaaaaay! Aliii loves meeeeeee!" cheered the Irish lad in the open air.

"Yes yes now shut it Niall and knock yourself out." said Alice. They had gotten to Niall's car and began settling him in as he began to calm down.

"Alrighty mate you're buckled in now just don't get Alice annoyed while she drives you to your place or she might crash." 

"Okaaaaay Harryyyyyy. Happy b-birthday. Love ya bro." 

" I love you too Niall." he replied and gave a hug to the other." See you later pal." 

" Byyyyyye Haaaarreh." 

Harry smiled and closed the passenger door as he made his way towards the driver's side where Alice stood.

"Well he's all good to go now Ali. Now you know how Niall can get." 

"Thank you so much Harry. You're a life saver. And tell me about it. This young man is something else." 

"Oh he's special alright. Just take care of him. Niall's never had much luck when it comes to relationships and I wouldn't want to see him get his hopes up." 

"Oh don't you worry about that Harry. He may be a hassle but he's lovely. I feel so caring towards him." 

"You have a big heart Alice. I feel like I can trust you with him." 

"And thank you for that. It means a lot coming from a genuine person like you." she said and gave Harry a hug. " Oh and by the way I owe you a gift Harry. I forgot to get you one." 

"Oh no no you don't have to waste money on me."

"Nonsense. It'll be my pleasure. Besides it won't cost me a fortune. I've noticed you like necklaces and I like making homemade jewelry. You'll see." she smiled as she got into the car.

"Thank you so much Alice."

"You're welcome." she replied as the engine came alive."Take care Harry. Stay strong."

"You too. Be careful while you drive."

" Yessir. Bye Harry!"

"Byyyyye Alice."

He waited til the car had exited the driveway and was out of site and then he went back into the quiet house.

 

 

 

Night time was Harry's least favorite part of the day. Why? Because he had to face the truth in which he now lived in. The loneliness. The empty feeling that took over him. What was once a warm body next to him was now a cold side of the bed. 

As he settled in, Harry took the last remaining sleeping pills in the bottle on his nightstand. His only way of finding sleep.

"I'll get more tomorrow." he told himself softly before lying down and tucking a pillow next to him.

 

If there was one thing Harry had wished for while blowing out his candles a couple of hours ago, it was to not be alone anymore. But that wish seemed like it would not be coming true any time soon. It was only him now.

It was reality.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"Nobody knows_

_Nobody knows the rythm of my heart_

_The way i do when I'm lying in the dark_

_And the world is asleep_

_I think nobody knows..."_

_-P!nk_

_"Nobody Knows"_

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all liked it. Kudos/comments :) Thank youuuuuuuu!


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